Doubts

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A few days ago I woke up full of doubt. They weren’t about anything specific. Just vague doubts, concerns, and worries about… everything.

Am I doing the right thing? Headed in the right direction? Focused on the things I should be?

I’ve been guesting on lots of podcasts lately, and on one I was introduced as being “super successful” and having success in everything I do. I remember wondering, is he talking about me?

Sure, I’ve got all the exterior signs of success; a great house, my dream car, good income, thriving clients…but I still sometimes doubt it all. I’ve been on welfare, and I’ve been a millionaire. There were ups and downs during both of those financial extremes. Each had their own doubts and worries.

I wondered if doubt ever serves me.

As I paid attention to the doubts, I felt a lowering in my mood and energy. I wondered, what’s the difference between fear-based doubts and my instincts or intuition? For one thing, it’s that mood and energy I noticed. Intuitive hits give me a boost when I get them. The doubts bring me down.

When I’m exploring something, I like to start with definitions.

Merriam-Webstar says, Doubt is, “to call into question the truth of: to be uncertain.” It is also to demonstrate a lack of confidence.
Fear is, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.”

Wikipedia says, Doubt on an emotional level is indecision between belief and disbelief. It may involve uncertainty, distrust or lack of conviction on certain facts, actions, motives, or decisions. Doubt can result in delaying or rejecting relevant action out of concern for mistakes or missed opportunities.

The word ‘doubt’ can refer to the cognitive process, as well as the negative emotion it sometimes involves. If someone is trying to decide whether they feel like having peanut butter or jelly on their toast, they are cognitively doubting, but probably not experiencing a negative emotion.
Then I noticed this article at Forbes, Ten Reasons Smart People Doubt Themselves. Hey! I like the sound of that; doubting things means I’m smart. But that’s not quite the point of the article.

Here are ten reasons smart and capable people doubt themselves:

1. They have learned from experts, and they don’t want to put themselves in that category.

2. They know how much they don’t know, which dwarfs what they do know.

3. They know that their expertise and their wisdom are only a small part of what makes them who they are. They would never be cocky about their education or their experiences.

4. They know that there is vast wisdom in every person. They don’t want to make any conversation all about them.

5. They tend to focus on the experiences and credentials they don’t have, rather than on the ones they do.

6. They care more about their work and their mission than they do about their personal branding, which feels trivial and cheesy by comparison.

7. They are uncomfortable in the limelight.

8. They get satisfaction by helping other people, not by talking about themselves.

9. They may have lost confidence over something that happened in their career or personal life.

10. They don’t have good role models, mentors or supporters to tell them “You are awesome!” They haven’t learned how to carry their confidence easily on their shoulders.

I could resonate with some of the list, but what helped me most was to simply feel the doubt. That lead to a rather uncomfortable morning, but within a couple of hours I realized the clearest doubts were things I was actually already doing, and doing quite well when I looked at the evidence. I was worried about things I’ve already been doing, yet somehow hadn’t accepted yet.

With that realization, my afternoon and ensuing days felt fantastic. The point is everyone has doubts. At every level of success and accomplishment, some aspect of ourselves will question whether we are worthy of it, can do it, and are capable of sustaining it.

Worries are a part of our growth and accomplishments. Let them be proof that you are moving forward instead of reasons to stop.

Napoleon Hill says, “Indecision crystalizes into DOUBT, the two blend and become FEAR!” So keep making decisions and taking actions in the face of your doubt.

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