Some of us never truly engage with the fullness of life. We see opportunities to live our best lives and yet deliberately turn away. We feel inspired to make a fresh start, then let fear talk us out of it. Then we come up with endless reasons why a deeply desired experience didn’t work out. This is what I refer to as living life on the sidelines.
We see others going for their heart’s desires and yet deny ourselves that same possibility. We observe them with the presumption that they must have some special quality we don’t possess. They must be better than us in some way. Otherwise, why aren’t we having the same experiences?
Perhaps this is because we deny our deepest yearnings. Seeing life as hostile, unfriendly and something to be endured, we ignore those yearnings. It’s easier not to take any real ownership for them because avoiding the risk of disappointment feels much safer.
Our mind chatter supports this denial by using its most effective fear thoughts:
I’ve got too many financial stresses to invest in myself.
What if I fail, what will people think of me?
I’m too stuck in my ways to change now.
I can’t afford to take that risk.
I’m not smart, attractive or good enough.
I can’t do that, be that, have that!
We, believing these thoughts, allow them to dictate our responses to life.
So in a way, we’re right. People who live life to the fullest, are different. They don’t let fear-based thoughts stop them from taking action. They definitely have those thoughts too. Everyone has them. Yet they have come to see that living a good life entails following through on their desires with action. Even if it feels scary to do so.
They have come to understand that simply enduring life leads to nothing but numbness and martyrdom. If we’re living on the sidelines and are not at peace with that choice, then we haven’t yet come to that understanding.
We’re required to build a real relationship with life. There’s a deep inner calling to nurture that relationship. When we’re not fully engaged with life, then we struggle to act on our heart’s desires. No surprise then, that we never feel truly alive!
What we often experience instead, are feelings of apathy and inertia. We then mask those feelings with easier to attain, but essentially unfulfilling activities and things. This masking tactic doesn’t help us in the long run. We just end up burying our true feelings deeper underground.
The only real antidote is to take the necessary but often uncomfortable steps towards our desires. In so doing we create a deeper relationship with life. By owning those desires and taking focused action, we get out of our own way. We can then allow life to show us our next steps.
This is why it’s important to explore our deepest yearnings and heartfelt callings with curiosity so we can hear what those next steps are.
We have the option to create a life that feels really good, but we have to be willing to first get off the sidelines. If we’re not willing to do so, then we must come to a place of peace with our choices.
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Yve Bowen is a passionate writer and copywriter. As a copywriter she provides engaging content and marketing copy for stressed out Sole Traders and Entrepreneurs. Find Yve at https://keeper.marketing.
