Ability In Vulnerability

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I’d often hear when it comes to relationships that the hardest part is “being vulnerable,” what exactly does that mean? Well, in short, you’ve got to leave it all on the table so to speak, and allow yourself to be scrutinized (hopefully not) by those closest to you. Everyone has the fabled Achilles Heel, their one weakness, the thing that they’d rather not anyone see, though that’s always a cause for anxiety and pain in all facets of life. Relationships, work, and life, in general, require vulnerability, and in this vulnerability, you can set yourself free.

Being romantically involved with someone, engaging with your family, and seeing friends, all require a sense of vulnerability to find true comfort. Most people want to be seen a specific way; strong, courageous, funny, intelligent, all positive traits, seldom negative. It creates constant strain, inflating the ego in such a way as to not allow the weaker sides of yourself to show. Often times people would rather be alone than engage socially, for this reason, it’s work to maintain this artificial image. Well okay, maybe I’m not as quick-witted as I’d like you to think, perhaps I’m not comfortable in this setting, or, I really don’t feel like myself today; this is being vulnerable, it’s not going to make everyone light up with pleasure, but all that matters is your own comfort, truly. The fascination with Stoicism comes from a desire to live for others, to show them a mirage, that you are this way, to create stability in an unstable world.

In professional life, most everything is put into a nice, neat, compact space. Your schedule, the office, the cubes, your desk, your computer, the break room, the restrooms, never changing. When an employee comes with something unusual, the simplest example being a sick day, you can hear the groans of your boss and coworkers from miles away. In the United States, many people bank their sick days and power through, not allowing the body and mind adequate time to heal and recover, we’re an overworked society. Vulnerability is allowing yourself to be human, not an automaton that must be here from 8-5 daily as to maintain efficiency, no, it’s that something’s sick and needs some time to heal. Perhaps you’re unsure of something, ask your boss and coworkers questions, you don’t need to have all the answers, no one does! We’re not made of stone though many people would prefer to see a beautifully sculpted David than a highly flawed, work in progress, human.

There is ability in vulnerability; peace of mind comes from accepting your flaws and allowing them to come to light.

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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood