Dear Mum

Dear mum,

When I grow up one day, I won’t remember if we had a big house with luxuries or if we rented a small flat. I will remember I learned how to crawl in there, I explored every inch of every room and broke so many things that probably costed a lot, but I was just trying to play.

I won’t remember if you had an expensive car or you had to take the bus everytime you had to take me to my doctor’s appointment. But I will remember I got my shots when I had to, just to be healthy and I was measured everytime so you can see how much I had grown.

I won’t know if our house was clean or if there was a constantly full sink, piles of plates, toys and clothes all over the place. But I will remember it as a jungle I played in, and tried to hide from the monsters and find the treasures under the carpet or in the washing machine.

I won’t remember either if my stroller and toys were new or second hand. But I will remember everytime we went on a walk I was having so much fun looking the pigeons try to run away from me, getting me so tired so I can sleep in my comfy stroller.

I definitely won’t remember everytime I cried so hard that made you just leave the room for a minute, take a deep breath and then come back to soothe me. But I will remember forever your warm hug and your heartbeat — the first thing I ever heard

And what I will remember for sure, too, how safe I feel when I’m next to you or when I run into your hug.

I will remember only you, and how you checked under the bed for monsters and kissed me goodnight, even if I was already asleep.

I’ll remember everytime I fall you were there to kiss me and make it all okay.

I will remember your beautiful smile, the first smile I ever saw and made me smile and laugh more than anyone did.

I will remember how you played with me even on your bad days, even on the days you were so tired from work and cleaning the house.

Dear mum, thank you for being so patient with me.

Thank you for teaching me how to walk, talk, eat and play, be independent and strong as you, when I grow up.

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And finally, thank you for showing me what it means to be loved unconditionally.

I love you — Your little baby

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Previously published on medium