What Does It Mean to Be Happy?

Are you searching the internet to find the things that make you happy?

Are you spending money on clothes, accessories, etc in an effort to make you happy?

Are you looking for that summer vacation to make you happy?

Are you purchasing a new car in an effort to make you happy?

Are you looking for someone else to make you happy?

Instead of only looking for happiness in these areas, have you ever stopped to ask yourself if you are happiest when you are living out your highest values, regardless of the area?

One month ago I was sitting on a $10.00 rocking chair overlooking blue skies and a pristine lake with two fine gentlemen in South Carolina. With a Carolina brew in hand, we started discussing the role academia plays in society and what society values today as ‘success’ and happiness. One of the men (who happens to be a lead scholar at one of the ‘best’ post-secondary institutions in the world) stated that we tend to spend our lives going from chasing one goal to the next, constantly seeking to become the best. He was so confused as to why society only seems to care about grooming the next Duke Graduate or Lebron James over growing and nurturing a fulfilling life of happiness.

The other mentioned that he sees this with the parents whom he is surrounded by today. The parental pressures to ensure kids are being groomed for Harvard or Stanford are real. The pressures on kids to become the next Tiger Woods are real. People go as far as remortgaging their homes to ensure their kids get into the ‘best’ post-secondary institutions in the world or to play ‘sport’ at the highest possible levels.

My question is: Why?

My second question is: Are these societal based ideals or actually parental values?

After listening to both men talk about this ‘success syndrome’ that seems to have plagued most of the North American hemisphere, I had an epiphany to share with them:

Gents, I think we may have it all wrong. I mean, if I wake up every day and live true to my highest values at the best of my ability, that is success. That is what makes me go to bed a happy man. Why can’t we be happy with a life like that?

After a few silent rocks back and forth, both men pondered this epiphany for a while.

Both then agreed.

Although I cannot answer my second question as I am not yet a parent, I can shed light on a thought to my first question of ‘why’. In my latest book, “Your Best Decade” I share that every single person on the planet is struggling for significance. The struggle is real and so is the lack of happiness found along the way in pursuit of that significance. That is why we struggle to ‘find’ happiness, inner peace, and daily gratitude.

I am nowhere near reaching some of the goals and dreams I have for my family and me but I truly believe that if I live out my highest values at the best of my ability each day, I can rest my head at night knowing that I did the best I could do, with what I have, where I have it, which ultimately gives me a sense of inner happiness, peace and gratitude.

My encouragement for you today is simple:

Live by your highest values daily to achieve success according to your standards. This will excavate your inner peace, gratitude, and happiness daily.

That’s it.

Let the rest of the world continue being the rest of the world. There are almost 8 billion other people out there struggling for significance, inner peace, and happiness. You are running your own race. It is up to you to find, hold onto, and regenerate your happiness daily regardless of what society screams.

I want to leave you with a powerful scene from “The Pursuit of Happiness” that pulls the heartstrings of what happiness can look like through the eye of a child who looks at life a lot more playfully than many of us. In this scene, I doubt he was thinking about all the things he needs to do to get into an Ivy League University. All this child wanted to do was hide from the Dinosaurs with his Dad.

Make The Next Decade of Your Life The Greatest

Whether you are 68, 38 or 18, Your Best Decade (YBD) will provide you will the knowledge, resources, and ideas to help reach your greatest potential in the ‘Big Three’ areas of your life. If you want to live daily according to your highest values this book is for you. Start living YBD today!

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Previously published on medium

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