Dear Narcissistic Supply,
It appears you’ve turned on me. What happened to the sweet woman you used to be? It seems it was all a lie.
You used to help me with all my projects and make yourself available whenever I needed you. Now you are acting distant. I’ve noticed you’ve stopped trying to be with me all the time like you used to. At first, it was kind of a relief, to not have you texting and bothering me all the time. Honestly, I enjoyed the break.
But how dare you not text me back last week, when I took time in my valuable schedule to reach out to you? You are the one who is supposed to respond immediately. How dare you make me double text? And you have no right to expect me to be at your beck and call. I’m a busy man.
And right now, I have all the symptoms of the flu — I hope it’s not COVID. I’d appreciate some of your homemade chicken soup. You need to drop whatever you’re doing — we both know it’s not that important — and get your butt over here and bring me a large container of it, with extra noodles.
Miss Supply, you need to get over whatever you’re sulking like a baby about. I only told you the truth when I said I wasn’t that attracted to your looks. Get over it.
You know you need me in your life, to feel good about how pathetic your life is. And for a while, it worked for both of us. I’d finally found a woman who wasn’t psycho. At least I thought so, until now. People always let me down.
I did everything for you. I let you wash my Tesla for me. Not just anyone is allowed to get in my expensive car, even to clean it.
And didn’t I treat you to dinner? I gave you the money so you could run out in your car to pick up our takeout order. I don’t let just any woman run errands for me.
I even let you come over between 7:30 and 8 pm on Wednesday nights. I could have been doing all sorts of important things with influential people, but I allowed you to come by. And then, you had to have more of me — they always want more! A half-hour of my valuable time on a weeknight was not good enough for you. You started sulking when you didn’t get your way. You act like such a baby sometimes. Put on your big girl panties. You’re way oversensitive.
Did you just say I hurt you? I’m sorry that you feel that way.
You kept trying to pin me down on weekends. Who do you think you are? You’re only a 6— at best, and I’m a 10. Do you think I would actually give you a valuable time slot on the weekend? I’m sorry, but that’s only reserved for my important friends, rock stars, or models.
Wait, you want me to go to a party with you? Can’t you do anything alone? I already told you I don’t like parties. I only go to parties with my cool friends. Sorry, but your friends are all losers. Deal with it. I’m not interested in ever meeting them.
You need to learn to enjoy solitude. It’s good for the soul. I wish I had the luxury of solitude. I’m always in demand. People won’t ever leave me alone.
Your job is to flatter me all the time and boost my ego. You can’t even do that right lately. Don’t you know it’s a privilege to be allowed into my circle of friends?
How dare you get all nasty on me, just because I have other women in my life. I’m not too attracted to them either, but they are good women — friends, who do a lot for me. Gina makes me meatballs every week, Zoe cleans my house, and Olivia buys me expensive gifts. I’m definitely keeping them around, even if none of them are beautiful enough to be my girlfriend. They know how lucky they are to have me in their lives. Why don’t you? What’s wrong with you?
It seems that many of my friends are jealous of me because all the women want me. Some of them actually think some of you women are attractive. I find that fascinating.
How dare you get jealous and petty? There’s definitely something wrong with you. I suspect it’s because your parents abandoned you as a child. You definitely have issues and should get help for that. You will never be able to have a successful relationship with anyone until you do.
Oh — your last relationship lasted ten years? I think you have a memory problem. I’ve noticed that you don’t always remember things as they really happened. Either you’ll have to find concrete evidence to prove that statement you gave me is true, or I’ll do you a favor and pretend I didn’t hear you say it.
You need to know your place in life. I’ve told you a million times, I don’t want a relationship. Once I had a perfect ten, but she turned psycho on me. I will never trust a beautiful female again. And I will never get married — because that’s just a death trap for men. Freedom is the best life, baby. I will never let a woman tell me what to do. Besides, why should I pin myself down to one woman, when I have many?
You should date other guys. I’ve already told you I’m cool with it. But never stop doing things for me. I need you in my life. I love you a lot, but you need to stop being so unreasonable. You really have a problem.
Truth is, I know you well, and I know I will always be first in your life. I look forward to stealing you back from that guy you started dating. After all, you are hopelessly in love with me. I mean, I would never admit it out loud to people — but who isn’t?
With much love,
Your Narcissist
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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