I Was in a Toxic Relationship

I don’t want to share that story here. It’s not my goal. But I want to share all the lessons that I learned from that toxic relationship. I want to share these lessons with the world because everyone should know that. I wish I knew them earlier. But still, you can learn from my mistakes that’s why I want to share this.

A boy proposed to me when I was fifteen. I didn’t know the meaning of relationship and love at that time. All I know is what I have seen in Bollywood movies. I know the beautiful side (only the beautiful side) of love (a girl and boy fall in love and have a happy ending). When he proposed to me, my instincts didn’t allow me to trust that boy. But also, I don’t want to hurt a person who loves me. So, I ignored my instincts and I started loving him. I believed in him against my instincts.

Days passed and his real face is in front of my eyes. I realized that he is not a good person at all. I could stop our relationship there, at that time but again I ignored my conscience. And I started thinking that if I love him more then he will become a good person after some time. I was so wrong at that time. Years passed but he didn’t change. He is still the same after so many years. I realized that our love can’t change anyone’s nature. People can’t change their basic nature. Even I can’t change my basic nature.

I lost my self-respect. I shouldn’t have done that. When we were in a relationship, sometimes I knew that I’m not wrong here but I accepted that it’s my mistake, I’m sorry. By doing this I lost my self-respect and also I supported him when he was wrong. Learn from my mistake and don’t support your loved ones when they are wrong. Please don’t. It’s very harmful for long time relationships. You should stop anything wrong the very first time.
Be bold. Here I want to say that you are brave enough. Be bold for whatever you feel right. Be confident about yourself. If they are wrong then tell them that they are wrong. Don’t accept anything wrong.

Respect yourself. Don’t let anyone use you. You should know the difference between what you are getting and what you deserve? Treat yourself right. If you don’t treat yourself right then they will not respect you. Don’t expect it from other people if you can’t give it to yourself. Don’t let them treat you badly. Love yourself first is necessary for any healthy relationship.

When I was in that relationship I afraid. I was afraid of everything. I want to leave him but I was afraid. Don’t be afraid if it’s not your fault. I was afraid that I will lose him. Don’t be afraid of losing bad people. Trust me your life will be better if you liberate yourself from toxic relationships.

When you are a good person then you don’t lose people, people lose you.

Toxic people make you feel bad about yourself. They steal your peace of mind. Keep yourself away from them.

If you are not happy in a relationship then don’t try to be happy there because you can’t be. I always knew that I was not happy there. But I want to be happy with that person at that time. I tried hard to make it work. But in the end, I realized that I can’t be happy here.

Now, I realized that I’m not happy in this relationship and I want to leave him. But it seems so difficult at that time because he threatened me. He makes me feel like I will have to live alone for the rest of my life if I leave him. Whenever I tried to leave him he made me an emotional fool that he will change. I believed in his lies so many times. But now I realized that he will not change. And I left him. He tried so hard to stop me but at this time, I didn’t look back. It’s the best decision of my life.

Now when I look back then I saw there were some good memories too but bad times are so heavy on good times. I learned so many valuable lessons from that relationship. Worst experiences can give you the best lessons of life. I know, I can’t go back and change my life from the beginning. But I can start where I’m and choose how it will go.

Keep all the lessons with yourself and don’t repeat any mistakes twice.
Life is beautiful. We should not let anyone make our life ugly. Take responsibility for your life, your relationships. You can choose them. Choose your relationships wisely. Choose relationships to make your life more beautiful.

Now I have some amazing people in my life. A bad experience can’t stop me from living my life to the fullest. I don’t let my past define me. I have more than that. Beautiful hearts around me make me feel beautiful about myself. I realized that some people are bad but relationships are not bad. Some incidents in life are bad but life is still beautiful. Don’t be afraid of going in a relationship again.