By Beleaf In Fatherhood
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Today I had amazing conversations with @preston_n_perry & @wordsbyezekiel we talked about fatherhood in a way that edified and challenged each of us. We walked away wondering why we don’t do that more often. But the good news is we recorded the conversation for you to benefit as well.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
ah here we go again take the chocolate
00:03
baby dad now run go try your friend
00:05
I guess I’m putting my family first like
00:07
I should protect your liability
00:11
welcome back to believe from fatherhood
00:13
my name is belief and I went to Atlanta
00:15
a couple years ago with my kids it was
00:18
an amazing time but I went out there
00:20
because they asked us to kind of star in
00:22
a commercial I’m doing commercials now
00:25
that’s crazy
00:27
so bo and I and eurya but Theo and I are
00:29
in the commercial it’s a super dope
00:32
piece about fatherhood because you know
00:33
Father’s Day is coming up and it shows
00:35
this transparency between fathers and
00:37
their children and I think you’re gonna
00:39
love it so here’s a snippet of this
00:41
commercial we see you dad doing the work
00:48
daily of shaping and protecting not only
00:51
your own children but the children in
00:54
your community
00:56
[Music]
00:59
an American Family Insurance were
01:02
honored to be your protector your
01:05
champion your insurance
01:11
we did this commercial with American
01:14
Family Insurance and it gave us the
01:15
opportunity to come to Atlanta you have
01:17
not heard of American Family Insurance I
01:19
would definitely check them out so we
01:20
were out there in Atlanta doing his
01:22
Father’s Day commercial and I have a
01:23
couple friends who live in Atlanta so I
01:25
was like let me hit up the homies and
01:26
see who’s pop and I hung out with
01:27
Ezekiel Izawa and Preston Perry now
01:30
these two men or people I look up to
01:32
heavily in just the black fatherhood
01:34
space and they’re both spoken word
01:37
artists who are amazing amazingly
01:39
talented and they are great fathers and
01:42
great husbands and so we had this
01:43
conversation that was so authentic and
01:46
honest I think you’re gonna love it this
01:48
is a three-part series I wanted to
01:50
discuss what I wish I knew before I came
01:52
a father Preston discusses what it’s
01:53
like being a black father in America and
01:56
Ezekiel discusses the ups and downs of
01:58
marriage after you have a kid it’s a
02:00
fire series three parts they’re on three
02:03
different channels but I want you to
02:04
check out my conversation now and then
02:06
afterwards I would encourage you to go
02:08
check out the other videos because these
02:09
two men are so dope in the discussion we
02:12
have is so honest and you’ll get some
02:14
know some things about me that you’ve
02:15
never known
02:16
watching these other videos so I’ve been
02:24
trying to get down to lay down what
02:26
Papa’s plans started up with family now
02:28
all I got his fans I’m still trying to
02:30
identify what it is would be a man catch
02:32
me with the brains run a mini Jam
02:35
it’s better safe and I still got hands
02:38
all I know is that I’m saved and I still
02:40
got hands like all I know is that I’m
02:41
saved and I still all I know is that I’m
02:44
safe you’ll be hearing a sticky heat in
02:50
Atlanta am i doing any friends man used
02:57
to me doing everything oh that’s what
03:00
she wanted you to push she want me to
03:01
play kiddin basically be here as black
03:05
fathers and believers you just won’t
03:08
have a conversation about fatherhood
03:09
they know my name is belief press
03:13
compare Ezekiel Izawa and it’s a
03:16
privilege to be here with these brothers
03:18
there are geniuses to me I see them as
03:22
geniuses and people I really look up to
03:24
in multiple different spaces I mean
03:26
we’ve seen each other multiple times
03:28
first time we got our families together
03:29
our kids together yeah and so yeah man I
03:32
just wanted to kind of ask you guys both
03:34
what are some of the things that you
03:36
wish you knew before you became a father
03:39
hmm man I guess I started so I have two
03:44
girls and one of the things that I wish
03:46
I knew before I became a father to two
03:50
girls is how much my word holds weight
03:52
with little girls mm because I mean I
03:56
can I can I can my words can lift them
03:59
up and without knowing it it can tear
04:02
them down so fast
04:03
yes so that’s something that I had to
04:05
learn and I think having girls and kids
04:08
in general just helps you and be more
04:10
gentle and soft or whatever but you know
04:14
always being aware of you know someone’s
04:17
feelings iam saying yeah I said some
04:20
things at first tomorrow to my daughter
04:22
eating was for now and I had to learn
04:25
like oh I can’t say it in this way I
04:26
have to like you know say it say it in
04:29
this way so that’s one of the things I
04:31
wish I knew but I thought for like
04:32
everything is a learning experience
04:34
when you come father yeah and learn as
04:36
you go there’s no manual for this indeed
04:40
yeah I pick you back on what you said
04:42
yeah absolutely you want to be sensitive
04:44
to the feelings but I realize man not
04:47
just watching what I say but watch what
04:49
I do when I’m in my child’s presence
04:52
my oldest daughter like she has a
04:54
photographic memory and everything I do
04:57
matters yeah I mean
04:59
rowwr age the things you do when you as
05:01
a single guy you know row rate is okay
05:03
when with your wife you like don’t do
05:04
that but when with your daughter her
05:06
heart’s beating fast like Daddy oh my
05:08
gosh I can’t believe you’ve rolled down
05:10
your window and you’re got to say
05:12
something I’m just like okay so I
05:15
realize man these kids are watching and
05:17
not not only that like my girls were
05:19
really easy to raise like my mother
05:21
three girls that super super cooperative
05:24
but I thought would have known that it
05:26
would be such a difference raising a boy
05:28
yeah I mean believe you know better than
05:31
I do like raising boys it’s a it’s a
05:33
different monster different different
05:35
way you got to put your hands on nothing
05:37
nothing not that way but maybe in that
05:39
way too but you got to you got to be
05:40
more hands-on and they’re just like it’s
05:43
a different different being so I wish I
05:44
would have known to be prepared for a
05:47
boy but now I see it intent they didn’t
05:49
require different amount of attention
05:50
they have sensitivity and they express
05:52
differently they’re very like real quick
05:55
before we continue I want you to
05:56
subscribe to this channel I’m gonna be
05:57
doing more conversations like this but I
05:59
want to know who you would like me to
06:01
talk to about fatherhood okay so just go
06:04
ahead and subscribe hit the notification
06:06
button and then in the comment section
06:07
type in who else you would like me to
06:09
talk to about fatherhood and interview I
06:11
think these conversations are important
06:13
and I must need it especially in the
06:14
black community all right back to the
06:16
video I think the biggest thing for me
06:17
is the difference between like how
06:19
different the kids are yeah like it
06:21
almost seems like they’re from different
06:22
parents absolutely and so I think when
06:24
we were growing up our parents had one
06:26
way of parenting and you had to
06:27
everybody had to adjust it a pair yeah
06:30
now what I’m noticing is that every
06:32
style of parenting doesn’t work for each
06:33
kid so I have to adjust the way I
06:35
approach each kid differently as a
06:37
father you know what I mean and so I
06:39
think that is kind of like interesting
06:42
because like I feel like God like you
06:44
know where he meets us where we are and
06:46
he he communicates with us as we should
06:50
like cuz he knows us individually you
06:52
know I’m saying
06:53
but even though it’s still I call peace
06:55
still who he is you know never changing
06:57
but all my kids are different the boys
06:58
are really rough but I think it’s also
07:02
in a different ID different style when
07:06
they are in certain orders you know what
07:08
I’m saying so the first one I feel like
07:09
it’s way more cautious normally just
07:11
they’re just cautious because we coddled
07:14
them yeah they were our first not I mean
07:16
the second one is completely oblivious
07:19
and off to me falls down just right back
07:23
up on to the next thing because you know
07:25
saying we already know that the kids not
07:26
gonna die of a car you know anything so
07:28
I had my first girl and I will say that
07:33
it has changed me to the core it does
07:36
something to that just makes you like it
07:38
makes you soft yeah yeah I became like a
07:42
little buttercup when I first had eaten
07:44
you know me and uh it’s crazy because
07:46
Eden is more like me a lot of people a
07:49
lot of people see my wife and thinks
07:50
that she’s like really hard but she’s
07:52
actually since like sensitive so eating
07:55
this is it’s kind of like more like me
07:57
like she’s sensitive but not that
07:59
sensitive she’d get over things fast but
08:02
my one-year-old who just made one
08:03
yesterday she’s really really really
08:05
fragile mmm more fragile than eating so
08:08
just eating made me salt for my second
08:11
daughter she’s making me even softer I
08:14
can’t even raise my voice like even when
08:16
we raise our voice and we just laugh
08:17
that she looks in life she just sold you
08:20
know fried your soul yeah it’s just it’s
08:23
just it just made me a different person
08:25
like I look at things differently I see
08:28
things differently having a little girl
08:30
the girls just do something to dad I
08:32
don’t know what it is they just do
08:34
something to dance it’s crazy
08:36
yeah it’s it’s um it’s it’s like a it’s
08:39
an attack on you you know what I’m
08:41
saying that’s a good personal attack on
08:43
like your emotion like your well-being
08:45
that’s not yours get away
08:47
thank you it’s and it like hits you like
08:52
don’t the reasons I cry like if I was
08:57
the younger me I sock myself and I just
08:59
walking them on because I’m just
09:00
different like yeah it’s low-key
09:02
embarrassing but I feel like it’s
09:05
supposed to happen you know like we’re
09:07
supposed to have that that level of like
09:09
that touch that’s like oh man only your
09:11
daughter can like make you feel like
09:12
yeah I just think is made amazing how
09:14
God balances out and their way cuz I
09:16
think he’s sovereign and giving those
09:17
kids but I think he’s you know super
09:19
sorry because he knows what you need you
09:21
know saying like he knows that he knows
09:23
that I need girls like he knows that I
09:27
needed girls cuz I’m up in this super
09:30
like hyper masculine culture and just
09:34
you know so girls I needed that if I had
09:36
boys first I think that I wouldn’t have
09:39
learned how to be soft and alluding to
09:42
learned how to be you know more
09:43
intentional with my words
09:45
I need that maybe my next one will be a
09:47
boy maybe God like okay now you can have
09:50
a son but uh I needed girls you should
09:53
like you needed girls ah man absolutely
09:57
I think I think I needed it because I
09:59
didn’t want girl I wanted three boys and
10:01
one I wanted one girl so I could just
10:03
boil her and just get that type of
10:04
attention to her three girls was just
10:06
like upon glass oh and one of the best
10:10
plums ball – stop it seriously my
10:12
biggest fear was kind of God allowing me
10:16
to reap what I sold in the actions of my
10:19
you know my children growing up and kind
10:21
of experiencing like hurt through men
10:23
and things like that and I’m just like
10:25
Laura I don’t I don’t need that type of
10:28
jail like lousy gonna run up to my door
10:32
with no mess
10:33
and it’s just like I needed I needed to
10:35
see God’s grace and forgiveness in the
10:38
fact that he’s giving me children that
10:40
honor him and love him and he’s not
10:41
trying to get me back
10:44
experiences with my daughter so I needed
10:47
to see I know some step daddy super
11:16
harder than all this and another baby
11:18
daddy super hard and honest you’re not a
11:20
children gotta deal with man who today
11:22
only broken heart like broken records
11:24
they come for book on topics of power to
11:27
show you you not on your own
11:28
I’ll come from where you come from don’t
11:30
you know you’re not alone I know it’s
11:32
sad that you grew up come on out of dad
11:34
and let me be the proof that you can be
11:36
more than your head
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video
