You Will Break Your Heart if You Live a Fantasy

Imagine breaking up with someone, yet you’re single.

Wild imaginations make the truth stranger than fiction. Yes. You can take crazy amounts of risk in the hope someone will love you.

But the signs are all there. Reading into situations causes you to make excuses for repeat offenders.

Acknowledge these realities.

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1. Nobody is busy that long.

Every week has seven days.

Each day has 24 hours.

If a person can’t reply, only to say “I can’t speak with you right now, talk later”. You are not a priority in their life.

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2. You can’t keep a man.

If a man doesn’t want you, you can’t keep him. He will embarrass you. Hurt you for no reason.

Apologize and then do it again. Love can become sexual tension or hate. Hate or lust can lead to soulmate affection.

But lust isn’t like love. They fulfill different desires. You feel confused and insecure about your place in a man’s life when his mind gets preoccupied. If it’s about another woman (or man), you’ll have to chase him. He’ll be with you yet absent. You’ll both be unhappy. Accept someone who is there for you because they want to be.

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3. It’s all in your head.

When you hear stories, it is natural to wonder about the proof. Yet, you assume you are in a relationship because of how well someone treats you.

Did they say you are their girlfriend? Do you get to visit their house? Are you able to do spontaneous couple activities? If on social media, can you appear in their content? These are essential questions to ask yourself. A relationship doesn’t exist until you both agree you want the same status.

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4. You’re dating a placeholder.

“I don’t date anymore. I just foster men until they find their forever homes. “— The Internet
I won’t go to the extreme and say you’re single until marriage. But you are single until you define the relationship.

You hurt yourself when you imagine a wedding with someone who plays text response time games. And they do this, even if they’re not busy. If a guy won’t do the bare minimum, commitment is too much to ask of him. You deserve timely replies. Stop creating excuses for his lack of interest. A guy can’t be interested and unavailable at the same time.

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5. Relationships aren’t always 80/20.

Several love ratios exist. Most say one person will love the other more. Though true, love still doesn’t have to feel one-sided if your partner will do what you do for them.

Do a simple test? If you often rub your lover’s back, would they massage yours? Sometimes, you think someone would do what you will do for them. It’s not the case most times. Before you need them most, make one tiny request and see how they react.

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6. Love doesn’t know what you deserve.

Many say we accept the love we deserve. How do you know the affection you are worth? You show yourself that level of kindness and support.

We teach people how to treat us. If someone thinks you won’t stand up to or walk away from them, they will treat you with little regard. My advice? Avoid attaching goalposts to self-love. You can love yourself now and when you have met your targets.

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7. Be aware of who someone is today.

A person’s current behavior reflects who they are now. It might take a new romantic interest to unlock their potential best self. Are you willing to accept this behavior for the rest of your life? No. Step aside, allow them to mature, reconnect later in life.

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8. You don’t need a project.

If someone can take care of themselves, they can support you. Otherwise, this guy is a project. You will need to push him and the relationship along. Not everyone stays faithful to the person who helped them. Find someone already helping themselves. This way, the guy can return the affection and love you give.

Thank you for reading!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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