Set Fire to the Bridge

Essay 12 of 18

You know what you’re up against with her development, generation, etc.

As you said to me, when you said it, it just hit me very powerfully. It was beautiful in a way. Here is my spin on it —

“Tema, I know there is a chasm of development, maturity, and life experience. In many ways, this experience is unfolding in a multiverse. You are having a particular experience because you are anchored in your generation, time, culture, and thoughts. I’m having a particular experience and impact because I’m in a different place.”

I wondered if you use a device, something like that if it would peak some curiosity for her?

It would get her out of herself enough to see that whatever the normative stance she took made her believe it was okay to break your relationship via an email and voice note was damaging, for her to realize that when her partner has to walk across the bridge, she set on fire, that her intention turned into a wholly different impact.

It became clear to me when you talked about being stunned, sitting at the top of your stairs for hours, after reading her goodbye email and listening to her voice-note. When you said that in a later voice-note/cast, it hit me like,

“This woman had no idea. She had no clue what she’s able to justify in her mind how actually damaging it was across that bridge.”

Anyway, I’m sorry to use all these metaphors. I guess I’m just trying to find another way for you to contextualize it in a way that would give her the insight, even if she couldn’t do it at this moment, maybe, later on, to be able to say to herself,

“Wow, I’ve got some growing to do.”

…

Essay 13 of 18: Regrets (coming 04.06.2022)

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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