Four Pieces of Terrible Dating Advice That Aren’t Worth Your Time

Dating nowadays is mentally exhausting. More options indeed, but so is the heartache.

At this point, you just never know which one is worth investing in.

At the same time, the harder it becomes, the more you see people give you advice on how to survive it. One guy at work literally told other single women that all that matters in a relationship is chemistry.

In other words, he said that nothing else matters as long as you both have strong chemistry.

I tell you what — that’s how exactly people fall into bad relationships.

You might have strong chemistry, but if he’s someone’s else husband, would you still proceed with it? Of course not. That’d be a crazy move.

There are some pieces of advice that are really good and helpful, but the majority of them just suck. They tell people things that aren’t only practical but also unsustainable in the long run.

“Don’t do online dating — it’ll make you look cheap”

People underestimate how many benefits they’ll get by trying out online dating at least once.

You should never trust those who tell you how sucks it is while they haven’t been on it themselves.

During my experiment with the dating apps, I’ve got people telling me how it’s going to devalue my worth.

That no one would actually get serious with me because I’ve been out with ‘too many’ guys on Tinder.

While I agree dating apps suck sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with trying them out. You can sign up and delete your account the next day — that’s totally cool.

Just don’t bash or tell people to have better things to do than being on online dating when you haven’t even tried it yourself.

No one knows what’s going to happen in online dating. But what matters is the confidence you have to put yourself out there.

That experience itself helps you learn more about yourself and get clear with what you want in your love life.

Without getting out of that comfort zone, you might never find the right person you want to be with.

“Only date someone who 100% matches your checklist”

No one is perfect — even if their profile on Bumble tells you so.

So this kind of advice to look for someone who literally ticks every box you have isn’t practical. You only need to keep the standards that make sense.

Being too picky isn’t always the best way to go in dating.

If this person you’ve been seeing is kind, respectful, and wants the same thing as you do, then maybe you shouldn’t stress too much about the fact that he doesn’t earn as enough as you expected in a partner.

Or how their friends aren’t cool, and you don’t think you can like them.

Every one of us has flaws. The older we get, the more baggage we have. Also, it’s only going to stress you out and think no right person out there while the truth is, they are there — if only you could be more flexible with your checklist.

“Just go with the flow”

In anything in life, you’ll have a much better result when you’re clear with your intention and know what you want.

If you want to date casually, then you won’t bother to invest your energy and time and push away people who want to get serious.

And if all you want is a committed relationship, then you ignore the uncommitted ones and keep looking until you find the right one.

Just don’t be in the middle — confused and lost yet still letting people enter your life.

I always believe that everything has a phase. The same thing with dating; there will be days when you don’t want to commit and another time when all you want is a stable, healthy relationship.

Not knowing what season are you in will put you in a situation where people might take advantage of you.

At this point, I’m sure you don’t want to add more traumas to your life.

“Find someone new if you want to get over your ex.”

Rebound love isn’t as sexy, wild, and hot as it sounds. It’s actually making it harder to move on from your ex.

When you’re rushing to be with someone new after a breakup, you won’t have to sit down and face those uncomfortable feelings; anger, sadness, and maybe even hopelessness in love.

Because you’re already busy with this new person, you think you’re ready to invest again, but if you’re bluntly honest with yourself, your heart will tell you that you’re still hurting.

Breakup sucks, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to take some time off from dating in general.

Spend more time alone and make peace with your past.

Ending Thoughts

When it comes to dating and relationships in general, people always have a lot to say. You’ve been single for years? They talk about it. You’re now finally married? They still ask when is your first baby.

So my point here is to be mindful of all the advice you got. From time to time, I always say no one knows what’s best for you, not even your parents and family.

Sure, you can respectfully thank them for thinking about your love life and thank them if they insist on giving you their suggestions, but you never want to go fully decide something based on what they say.

It’s your own dating life — create any stories however you want them to be.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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