The Easiest Way To Understand Your Incessant Self-Doubt

Doubt is like a fly.

It zips silently around your room while you’re trying to focus on your interest of choice. For the most part, you may not hear it that often. But every now and then it flies so close to your ear that you can’t help but be startled by the sudden buzz.

You try to steer your attention back to your work, but you can’t help being distracted with the knowledge that there’s a bite-sized critic divebombing figure 8’s over your head.

The more doubt we feel, the more flies we have zig-zagging in our face and pulling our focus from the task at hand.

We all feel doubt sometimes.

From a kid with a crush to the Buddha himself.

“You have a right to be confused. This is a confusing situation. Do not take anything on trust merely because it has passed down through tradition, or because your teachers say it, or because your elders have taught you, or because it’s written in some famous scripture. When you have seen it and experienced it for yourself to be right and true, then you can accept it.”

That quote is especially true for anyone questioning the path they’re on. How are you really going to know is something is right for you until you try it for yourself?

On top of that, how often do you really think about where it is your doubt it coming from, anyway? From where does your own self-doubt truly stem?

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Why must our best intentions always be thwarted by the incessant nagging of our inner critic?

Our ego, when used in a healthy way, should be the thing that gives us the gusto to navigate life competently and boost our self-esteem in the face of societal pressures and social circles. So where the hell is it when we need to push through our hesitations to make the choices that will elevate our lives?

Our minds are pattern recognizing machines. In these moments when we’re faced with a choice to stay the current path or risk an unknown trail, our minds do what they’re meant to do, which is survive.

Our minds don’t really know us.

They don’t know who we are or what we aspire to be. They don’t know our goals or aspirations or personality quirks or dreams. It’s one of the hardest things to wrap your brain around when you’re trying to shed your past behaviors and elevate your life —that you are not your mind.

Your mind is a tool for navigating and surviving the natural world in the same way your heart is a tool to pump blood throughout your body and into that same brain. Once we can see that the thing that’s watching the world behind our eyes isn’t the same thing as the unit in which it is housed, we can learn how to step back from the forefront of our immediate experience and think about the feelings that arise when our minds are sounding the alarm of doubt.

I used to hear that apprehensive alarm nearly every single time I sat down to write.

I think over the past few years I’ve finally taken it from probably 90% self-doubt to (hopefully) around 20%. I’m probably giving myself more credit than I’m due, but that’s just part of the process of lowering that percentage. Convince yourself of what you’re capable of for long enough, and with enough work, suddenly you are.

I can hear the siren of self-doubt as I write these very words. I’m not even exaggerating. With every word I type, I have to consciously ignore the buzzing critic flying around my mind telling me things like:

You don’t even know what you’re talking about.

You’re making this up as you go. People can tell and don’t respect you.

You’re never going to be a real writer.

You’re mediocre and unprofessional.

You don’t have what it takes to make a real life for yourself.

You’re not as creative as you think you are.

Why are you even trying? You should just give it up now so you don’t embarrass
yourself.

Harsh, I know.

But I’m willing to bet that most of you have these same kinds of thoughts that prevent you from doing all kinds of things in your life.

The way I see it, the mind creates this narrative to protect itself from the potential “dangers” of uncertainty in choosing to walk the uncharted terrain.

As we go about our day, we have things we can do that are safe and certain. There is a clearly lit path from our alarm clock to our night cap.

We also have the things which we aren’t sure will pan out how we want. That path is dark, full of unseen forces and potential dangers. Even as we squint and try to see down that dark path, we can’t make out what’s more than a few feet in front of us. That, and we can hear those evil whispers on the wind saying demeaning and hurtful things once we start walking that way. It’s a scary trail and one that most people have no problem avoiding. It makes sense when we listen to our primal mind. As far as survival goes, dark and scary is an absolute no-go.

Self-doubt in the face of our desires or journey to find meaning is simply another name for fear. It’s merely a sub-section. Fear keeps us on high alert and protects our immediate well-being, but it does absolutely nothing to progress our development or evolve our sense of self. It’s the overcoming of fear that gives us these things.

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Once we stop listening to those voices of doubt telling us all about the things we can’t do, we find a clarity that doesn’t come easily.

When we see our fear clearly for what it is, a mechanism of a primal mind, those dark clouds of apprehension shrouding that scary trail start to clear. We can see that the path is actually a much faster route and even looks more fun. We start to wonder what we were even worried about in the first place and just get on with it, enjoying every step of the way.

One of the most useful things about stepping back from our minds and focusing on what we truly want, is realizing that these automatic programs of fear and caution will continue to run without us constantly watching over them. Despite how much of a hindrance they can be, we do need these programs. They keep our subconscious always watching for predators in the wild or simply stop us from walking into traffic. We just don’t need to micromanage these programs. They’re part of our innate software. We can let them run in the background without letting them influence our decisions at all.

You don’t need your fight or flight response ready to activate every time you’re about to, say, speak publicly, or take a professional risk, or attempt to stretch yourself creatively in some way.

Self-doubt will prevent you from doing each and every one of these things in the name of protecting you from “harm.”

There is no harm. There is only what you want, and the steps you need to take to get there.

Just start walking in the direction you choose. Your natural instincts are always going to be there to protect you. You don’t need to constantly reevaluate and run comparative diagnostics unless you want to hear all the reasons you should stop doing what you’re doing and just get back into bed where it’s safe and comfy.

Trust your instincts to do what they’re meant to do.

They’re on autopilot for a reason; so you can instead worry about manifesting the life you desire and deserve without the impediments of doubting yourself and what you’re truly capable of.

Remove the doubt and the path will clear.

You just need to get out of your own way.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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