
We’ve all been there. If you haven’t, eventually you will. Sadly, heartbreaks are inevitable.
The pain you feel during a breakup can be so numbing that you forget about basic things that would help if remembered. It is those things I’ll be shedding a light on:
- Three perspectives to breakups
- Sharing the breakup with friends and family
- How long does it take to heal?
- Everything is temporary
- Uncommon hopeful approach
So without further ado, let’s get started.
3 perspectives
While going through the pain of heartbreak, we forget that our version is not the only one. There are 3 versions, and they don’t usually get along.
Because of what you are feeling, you can’t look at the situation in an objective way, naturally. But even if you can’t, there still are 2 more approaches apart from yours.
- Your ex-partners
- The truth
You don’t need to feel all of them, just accept that they exist and not judge nor feel angry. Everyone lives a situation differently, so feelings will always be different.
Sharing
I have been here, on both sides, the one in pain and the one listening so I know this always happens.
You end your relationship and run to your friends or family to talk about it. To tell them how you feel seeking comfort in their words. Expecting good things about you, and pure trash about your ex-partner.
Instead of doing this, try taking your time to process what just happened and understand what you’re feeling. Then, you’re safe to share how you feel, not consumed by anger and sadness.
Find comfort within yourself before looking for it in the people around you. Otherwise, you’ll fear and avoid being alone with your feelings because you never sat to understand them. The longer you wait, the scarier they get.
Time for healing
The healing process can take from weeks to even years, and you cannot judge that or feel ashamed of it. Everyone has the right to process a breakup for as long as it takes them.
Keep in mind that after a very long time, we don’t miss this person but the image we had of them. We tend to idealize our partners and allow them to complete us, that is why breakups are so hard. Parts of you that your partner used to fill, are now empty and it is your job to find and nurture them from the inside.
I already posted an article about this, so if you are interested, I invite you to check it out. But there’s more juice to this article, so don’t leave just yet!
Everything is temporary
You won’t feel like this forever, and this is a fact. You already know it, but somehow forget about it while in pain.
It’s in the hardest times that we must remember that the most constant thing in our lives is change.
Hopeful approach
Until I heard it for the first time, I had never even thought about this. So listen closely, or read very carefully.
If you were able to love and feel so much with this person that was not the right one, just imagine how you are going to feel with the right one.
As everyone experiences things differently, I invite you to share the advice that worked best for you so that we can help each other!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article! I am grateful that I could share my knowledge with you and truly hope it somehow helped you. If you have something you would like to add or another insight on the matter, don’t hesitate to share it with me.
Have a lovely day!
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
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The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
