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Pain can be our worst enemy but can also be our best friend. Pain and loss are needed to help you move out of your comfort zone. For most, that could be in a negative direction, but for me, it was a positive one. I will tell you how I took my worst tragic experience, converted it into a brighter one and how you can do the same.
The Tragedy
On the afternoon of Father’s Day 2015, I got one of the worst calls anyone could ever receive. My sister called in tears, crying, and said, “Dad is dead!” At first, I thought I heard her say, “The dog is dead,” because my parents had a dog. My mind clearly didn’t want to hear or believe the dreaded words I was hearing.
It turned out that my dad was mowing the lawn and had collapsed suddenly due to heart failure. My mom and sister were out grocery shopping and came home to see his body lying face first in the dirt where my mom had planted a rose bush.
My sister called the ambulance and performed CPR, but we were all too late. After being taken to the hospital, his vitals returned temporarily but the lack of oxygen to vital organs meant he wasn’t coming back. At 3 a.m. the next day, after 12 hours of fighting, I lost my dad to a heart attack at the age of 68.
Dad immigrated from the Middle East to Canada in the ’70s and wanted to build a better future for himself. Being a steelworker, he grinded and worked hard, but not smart. We had a great relationship, and I grew up watching sports with him my whole life. He showed up to all my baseball games and martial arts classes, and he always had my back.
Money was always an issue for my old man, as he was never trained to manage it or earn it in abundance. He came to Canada with a survival mindset and not a thrive mindset.
I knew growing up that I didn’t want to live a life of average and just getting by. The problem was that I lacked the drive to take action and break out of my 9-5 industrial product sales job. I needed a push out of my comfort zone to achieve success. Growing up in a mediocre, average lifestyle with little money portrayed my childhood as the easy road to take. I knew in my heart I wanted to do more and be more.
Dad’s Death Was the Push I Needed
I was very unfulfilled working a 9-5 sales job and deep down I really didn’t like working for anyone. I also had an outgoing personality and wanted more. I never had the proper mentorship and just followed the system. Go to school, get a diploma, get a job. After getting the job, I was not happy at all.
Just before my dad’s death, I had launched a small business called Fantasy Frames. It was a business selling custom sports frames with sports cards inside, which were then used by the fantasy football league as the trophy for the championship winner.
My dad had helped me with the creation of some of the frames and had always wanted me to succeed. Since I was working a 9-5 sales job, I didn’t give the frame business too much effort though, and I only dabbled with the idea of being a full-fledged entrepreneur.
Right after I lost my dad, a fire grew within me, and I realized that I didn’t want to settle. The loss was extremely painful and continues to hurt until this day. I used this pain and converted it into the drive to launch my podcast and become successful. Since my podcast launch in May 2016, I have achieved millions of downloads and become the most well-known fantasy football personality online. Creating a massive online brand and becoming financially secure doing what I love is mostly credited to the motivation I get from losing my dad.
The Loss Fueled My Workouts
For years after my father’s death, I let out my frustrations through exercise. I carried over my business motivation into my workouts and again converted my sadness into positivity. There is no better way to let out your frustrations than working out. Releasing feel-good endorphins and getting my body in peak physical shape was a major outlet for me.
I have heard stories of people turning to alcohol to suppress their anxiety, but I didn’t want to go that route. Pushing myself through challenging workouts helped me overcome my negative emotions and I always felt working out was a better way to deal with them.
I highly recommend that you take on a sport, do yoga, hit the gym or do something physical you enjoy to overcome your emotional challenges. It worked for me, and I am certain it can work for you.
Finding Love Shortly After His Loss
Prior to losing my dad, I was in a lot of unsuccessful relationships. I didn’t know what I wanted and felt like going out to clubs was the best place to find my future wife. I was looking in the wrong places and attracting the women I didn’t even see myself being with long-term.
My head was not in the right place, and I wasn’t even mature enough for a serious, long-lasting relationship with the right woman. I wanted a good, solid, and honest relationship, but I also wasn’t being the person who would attract the right woman.
So, I quit going to clubs and started to do some soul searching, discovering who I was internally a lot more. I matured and realized what matters the most in life to me and to consider being the same type of person I wanted to attract.
I decided to sell my home at the time, which led me to a real estate agent, which led me to a mortgage broker, then to an accountant, which led me to my wife. I know this sounds crazy, but divine intervention happened for me to meet my wife.
It started with a Facebook post where I stated I lost my dad, which resulted in a DM from an old friend, whose sister then became my real estate agent, which led me to a mortgage broker, which led me to an accountant that knew my wife.
Maybe posting about my dad’s death was the reason I met my wife, or maybe it was a combination of that and becoming a better overall person. Either way, the loss of my dad has led me to be a happy family man with a beautiful wife and two amazing children.
Don’t Let Tragedy Break You
I could have laid down, cried, and let this tragic loss break me. I could have just said that life dealt me the hand of mediocrity and kept rolling down easy street. Instead, I did the exact opposite. I still had my moments where I would curl up in a ball and cry it out. But once the tears had dried and physical and mental exhaustion set in, I had had enough of being average.
The loss has been a constant and never-ending motivation for me, and I can’t explain it. It’s like he’s in my corner, cheering me on spiritually. Almost as if he is helping me more in his passing than he did while he was alive.
I have this voice in my head telling me to keep going, you can do it! I carry an insatiable desire to succeed and be the best version of myself I can be. This goes beyond making a lot of money and having a big brand. I wanted a family and optimal health as well.
It’s ok to feel sad, but don’t let those feelings control you and impact your life in a negative way.
I encourage anyone listening to this to convert your tragedies into success stories. Grieve and press forward. Understand that you can’t change the past and all you can do is make the present and future better!
Set your goals high, dream big, and do whatever it takes to make those dreams a reality.
See how I made my dreams a reality at www.thefantasyfootballcounselor.com
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