
Even if Jack and Rose survived the Titanic, they might not have survived this three-way time test that affects every relationship.
Especially the ones that have transitioned into marriage.
- As a woman, after facing loads of heartbreaks by many men, you may think that is the end of hurdles with relationships, but No. It is only just the beginning.
- As a man, if you feel the highest struggle you would ever face in relationships is not being able to please a woman, then you may have never heard of these three-way time test that affects all relationships.
The Time Test is a Cycle
I don’t know the gimmick behind these time tests, but I am pretty sure it happens in every relationship, especially in marriages or mere long-term relationships.
I observed it first with my parents.
Although they have the good life every middle-class family can have, but this same cycle of time tests has repeated itself in a short while.
I don’t mean in a year.
I mean in the space of ten years. Now don’t think I am delusional. I am a deep thinker, and simple things are alarming to me.
So I did what every deep thinker does, I asked some friends and did some more asking around from folks in relationships.
It turns out it happens in many relationships, but it is very strong in marriages.
No matter how happy you are. Every single successful love story will face this turmoil.
I also noticed that it is a cycle. It might not come perfectly, but the three-way time test will surely occur one after the other, at different stages of the marriage.
What are the Three-Way Time Tests?
Time test 1 — The popular surge
It is the toughest one out of the three-way time test. If your relationship can survive this test, then it was really meant to be.
Just like the quote goes;
“No one is without troubles, without personal hardships and genuine challenges.
It may not be obvious because people don’t advertise their woes and heartaches. But nobody, not even the purest heart, escapes life without suffering battle scars.”― Richelle E. Goodrich
That is just about the definition of the popular surge.
At some point, every perfect marriage or long-term relationship will experience a surge, which will shake the relationship from its roots upwards.
Mostly, it may not be associated with the relationship in general, like infidelity.
It will be something that will affect both parties, so that both the husband and wife, male or female, have to pay good attention to it.
- The popular surge might come in the form of an ailment that will test the strength of the relationship.
- The popular surge could also be a psychological or spiritual problem that requires a lot of attention.
- The popular surge can also be a situation of career change that might affect the kids or the family in general.
Whatever the case, every relationship will go through this time test, and it will be a major criterion to determine if the relationship will last forever.
A typical example of popular couples that have faced such time tests are;
- Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello.
- Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling.
Time test 2 — Financial whirlwind
I already assume that you have been anticipating this already. Without a doubt, every marriage will experience financial struggles at some point in its existence.
But this one is far more different than how it occurs in a regular relationship when there is just a down period.
In the three-way time test that affects many marriages and long-time relationships, the financial whirlwind will almost pull the marriage apart.
It doesn’t care if the marriage is between two celebrities who earn millions every year, or if the marriage is between two tech gurus who have managed to create a long-lasting business for themselves.
It affects all marriages and long relationships the same way, without pity.
- In regular or middle-class people, it can mean a sudden change in location after the battle is won.
- In richer people, it can mean a huge stain on their name in the society and the birth of many rumors even more than the financial whirlwind itself.
But once the relationship can survive this time test, then there is hope for a forever somewhere.
Time test 3 — Infatuation
Yes! Infatuation or entanglements.
Every relationship will face this struggle at one point in time.
The worse thing is that it might even come when the relationship is at its best.
- When the love has grown to a point where neither party is bothered about infidelity.
- When you know you have finally secured your man, and he belongs to you.
- When you feel you have secured your woman and she is your own. Sometimes, it even feels as if your name is written on her forehead.
Even if that is the case, this third-time test will happen swiftly before your eyes.
One major example of this is Jada Pinkett and Will smith.
It is not just them alone.
Many other marriages have faced such problems where one of the partners suddenly finds someone who makes them go crazy again after many years of relationship.
Infatuation is when you find someone who is perfect.
Love is when you find someone who isn’t perfect, and you just don’t mind being with them.
That is what happens when people are tested by time with infatuation. Some marriages might feel worse and get broken. Others will stay put and fight the battle together as Will and Jada did.
It is one of those time tests that happens and will happen. The question is when it does, will your relationship withstand it?
It is not even how it happens that matters, it is how the relationship moves on from those time tests.
Thank you so much for reading my article today. My gratitude towards you knows no bound. I would be publishing another article very soon.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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