There’s a new hot topic that I bet you have heard floating through the dating and relationships airwaves.
That topic is the red pill vs. blue pill theory.
Usually, this debate would be a discussion around the choice to stay content with standard practices given to you in life or the option to have an awakening and see the deep, unsettling layers that could change your views of your world.
For heterosexual men, this topic has taken on a whole new meaning.
The new debate is a discussion to continue the patterns that cause men to fail in the dating and relationship market or challenge your beliefs and understand human nature and apply your understanding to your behaviors in the market.
We have seen this topic blow up in popularity and consequentially play out like a game of telephone. The message has been lost in translation and taken into a new context, looking down on female nature rather than purely understanding it.
That is not the goal of understanding the theory. The truth is there is a set of male and female biological behaviors that create patterns in our interpersonal relationships; that is the science supporting the thought.
Once you have a clear view and understanding of what is in the mixing pot of the theory, you can begin to implement the practices to improve your dating life.
Remember, this will teach you the red pill view of dating; if you want the soft, feel-good explanation, don’t proceed past the dotted line.
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Male Vs. Female nature
First, you have to understand the differences in female and male nature at a base level.
- Women biologically should, and do, seek out the most suitable mate to ensure security and the best possible outcome for any offspring.
- Men want to seek a mate loyal to them and not available to other men.
It would explain why women want an emotionally secure man, who has direction in life, is a provider and makes them feel safe. These elements ensure security.
Men want a woman who is theirs and provides the lowest threat to their peace of mind. I know in the world of sexual freedom, it is now taboo to turn your nose down to promiscuity, but a lack of it creates security for a man.
Again, base level. So, how does this play out in the dating market?
Well, it can feel like you are playing an unfair game. The average man makes around 40k, while 11.3% of us are in some form of therapy, and a whopping 23% attend the gym.
The truth is the dating market works like inflation. As time goes on, the beliefs and expectations of men go up as well, and to be in a red pill mindset, is to evolve with the times.
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Becoming the best coldest version of yourself
So, do you ever feel like you are playing an unfair game and are the only one struggling in the dating market?
I have to break some news to you; your only option is to level up.
- If I told you a restaurant was average, would you go check it out; most likely not. If I told you a movie was ok, would you run to the theatre to see it; probably not.
- Average cannot be unacceptable in every facet of life, other than when it applies to you as a man. Again, the average is ok, but you don’t accept it elsewhere.
Leveling up does not mean being a millionaire with a six-pack to gain women’s attention. It does mean showing a level of ambition and taking care of your health, whether that be mental or physical.
Again, back to a female’s desire for security, you cannot appear to be a weak man. Contrary to the new age meaning of the red pill man, it also does not mean becoming jaded. It means having control over your emotions and having strength as you react.
Your emotions cannot get the best of you and cause you to react insecurely. You must see the world through the lens of behaviors and not relate events as personal to you.
Once you have clarity, you will have fewer negative emotions and reactions to these events. Instead of coming off as jaded, you will distance yourself from the pitfall of sour responses and weak behavior on your part.
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Two truths and a lie
There are two truths and a lie about being a red pill man.
- Truth #1- It will not happen overnight. To learn is to unlearn your previous behaviors.
- Truth #2-Once you master the art of becoming the coldest version of yourself, you will dislike the version of you that existed. Don’t; that is the growth process.
- Lie #1- Any man can become a red pill; there will always have and have nots; that is the truth.
It takes a growth mindset to become a red pill man, and everyone does not have that in them. That does not mean you do not have it in you.
Becoming a red pill man has nothing to do with disrespecting women. It has everything to do with respecting female nature and positioning yourself to respond accordingly.
Your response in any situation that does not suit you is to leave that situation and never look back, question, or wonder about future outcomes if you would have stayed.
If you cannot do that, then you will never succeed. So read that sentence again.
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Conclusion
You cannot become a red pill man without assessing the mistakes you have made past and present.
I follow a motivational speaker named Eric Thomas, who says change is the ability to shift at ANY MOMENT. Not tomorrow, not next week; can you get up and change your lifestyle right this second? If you cant, you will forever be stuck where you are now.
Also, you can’t get down on yourself for your past mistakes. We have all made the mistakes that lead to blue pill beta activity.
SIKE.
You have to break down the man you were to become the man you want to be. You have to judge and kill your previous practices that lead to your downfall.
Or
Keep doing what you’re doing; the choice is yours.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: ANIRUDH on Unsplash