How to Quit the Relationship You Just Started

It can take a while to adjust to being confused, but sometimes you know right away that you’ve made a big mistake.

Maybe the issue is an ultra self-centered partner, or maybe the “attitude” that feels very different from when you first started living together. Whatever the cause of the problem, a person who finds themselves unhappy in the relationship faces a dilemma. Should they stick together because of the rumors already circulating, or head for the hills? And if they choose the latter, is there a way to leave without causing a scene?

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Why it’s alright to quit the relationships you just started.

While the “universal custom” can be intimidating, quitting your relationship after a short time living together is actually quite healthy. According to YouGov,

One of the main reasons for a swift breakup is due to the influence of social media, discovering that the person wasn’t what they expected based on their social media persona, and simply deciding they don’t want to work it out anymore.

Another reason people leave relationships they’ve just started is due to the people around them, those they trusted to be part of their private space. Many young people have unrealistic expectations, supported by society to act that way, and tend to talk more than listen. This becomes even more common when the dating market is tight, as it is now in the US.

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If you’re willing to quit, it’s worth exploring whether there’s a way to address your concerns before before ending the relationship.

Interestingly, different patterns of association emerged for men and women as only women’s hope and perceived support were jointly related to women’s own satisfaction and to their partners’ satisfaction. Men’s hope and perceived support were interrelated but were not associated with relationship satisfaction. The role of hope in the context of interpersonal relationships as well as the role of gender differences in dyadic processes are further discussed.

And if the situation couldn’t be fixed, don’t stress your a$$ out about whether splitting after a month or two will affect your ‘appeal’ in the long term.

Moving in together means seeing all of your partner’s sides, every single day. Cohabitation is on the rise in the U.S., with most Americans finding it acceptable to live with an unmarried partner. Among adults ages 18 to 44, 59% say they’ve cohabitated, while 50% have been married at some point in their lives.

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So you made a decision to leave your partner. What’s next?

First, let your partner cool down when it comes to the separation. Help your partner see that this is the best for both of you, ideally in a private conversation, depending on the situation of course. Show gratitude for your partner’s willingness to give the relationship a try.

You may also want to consider giving your partner the option to decide whether they would like to try traditional counseling or choose to end things early. You can also provide context about why you decided to leave the relationship so soon, as long as it can be done gently. If the issue has to do with miscommunication about external influences, a traditional solution with a “it’s just you and I on this boat no matter the storm” mentality might be helpful.

If you’re leaving because the dream of partnership you had for the past relationship has been shattered in your current relationship, at least your current partner doesn’t deserve criticism. On the other hand, if the issue is more fundamental, such as a lack of compatibility, it’s important to be honest with your partner. Regardless of the reason for the breakup, it’s important to be respectful and considerate to your partner.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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