My heart tightened a little when I sent my request to go on a 35-week parental leave because it felt like I’m quitting.
However, my superiors at work didn’t give me a hard time. It’s not normal for a man to take a longer leave than his wife. And because it isn’t normal, the whole thing felt uncomfortable.
It’s only been more than a month since I stopped working, but I already gained a few insights into what my retirement would feel like in the future.
Every day feels like a Saturday
There’s no reason to dread Mondays or get excited for the weekend anymore.
It sounds like an everyday staycation. But there are moments of boredom even when I’m already busy with the kids (a newborn and a toddler). This doesn’t mean that I’m bored with them. I’m referring to those moments when there’s nothing left to do and yet there’s still some extra time to be “productive”.
Instead of using those moments to do whatever I want (guilt-free), I think about adding more commitments to my already busy schedule. Why?
I’ve been conditioned in my career (in the manufacturing industry) to only feel “productive” when I’m overwhelmed. If there’s time to take a break, it also means that it’s an opportunity to take on more tasks. It’s a recipe for burnout. But if I don’t take on more tasks, I feel like I’m not doing enough.
It’s a tricky situation to be in.
Doing more leads to burnout but doing less makes me feel unproductive. Both have a negative impact.
But that’s what I’m going to wrestle with in the future if I don’t learn to adjust my definition of “productive” and “hard work” accordingly.
Retirement feels different now that I don’t have a job to complain about
When you feel “stuck” in a job, chances are you are forced to solve problems you don’t wanna solve.
You don’t have much choice because that’s what you’re getting paid to do. And in those moments of feeling conflicted (about doing something you’re not happy with), you think about retirement. I tell myself, “Alright 20 more years of this BS and I’m done!”.
But now that I’m on parental leave, I don’t crave retirement as much.
One would hope that you would crave it even more because you no longer have to complain about petty stuff. But the lack of problems (to complain about) is what makes retirement feel boring.
I don’t know about you, but when I solve a problem, I feel accomplished.
The more problems I solve, the more accomplished I feel. With retirement, it’s the opposite. The lack of problems to solve tells me that there is less reason for me to be around. That’s because I base the purpose of my existence on the needs of my family or society.
This mindset could lead to depression if I’m not careful.
It’s difficult to avoid thinking about the “meaning of life” with all that spare time
Depression creeps in those moments when you have no idea what else you should do with the extra time.
However, you can avoid that by figuring out a complex problem you are excited to solve. I say, “complex” because it’s the kind of problem that takes you years to solve. That’s how you stay busy for years and years. What “problem” might that be?
Solopreneurship: the art of figuring out how to help others by doing what you love while making money in the process.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Warren Wong on Unsplash
