You are not each other’s entire world
Reading this headline might have put you in confusion since your forever must mean the world to you. Well, sure, but if you do not have a life independent of them, it is not time to settle yet. Time spent apart is not a flaw but a benefit in a strong relationship that endures.
The most successful relationships are those in which both parties are confident enough in one another to support one another’s passions outside of the partnership. You’re developing personally whether you’re taking up a new pastime or spending time with friends and family, and you bring that sense of self and development back into your relationship.
There is a space for the opinions of both people
No matter what you discuss — politics, the horoscope for the day, or what your crazy aunt Susan said after a few too many drinks at Christmas — your spouse wants to hear what you have to say. The same is true of you; you sincerely care about your partner’s viewpoint and value an open dialogue even when you don’t agree. You know you can communicate with someone if they solicit and listen to your thoughts and feelings and, even better, if they retain what you say and expand on it afterward. You want a response that is sincere, empathetic, and compassionate.
You fight well
The myth of a relationship devoid of conflict is simply that — a complete myth. Not the absence of disagreements, but rather the ability to work through those unavoidable conflicts, is the true mark of a committed partnership.
It’s not always the honeymoon period in a relationship. How you handle conflict together makes the difference between a failing relationship and your lifelong connection: The instant you start blaming each other, you stop working as a team. On the other side, openly and healthily addressing opposing viewpoints might help you come closer together.
It does not feel like extra work
While it is true that every long-term success requires effort and maintenance, the work shouldn’t be so taxing that you question if you can continue. There are occasional rough patches in a relationship with the appropriate person, but usually, things move along well.
If you come to the stage where you can define your relationship as simple, it may be the one to settle for. Toxic relationships can be captivating, all-consuming, hard to leave, and exhilarating. The objective, though, is a friendship that subtly develops into passionate love.
…
I am available for freelance content gigs; drop me a hello at [email protected].
Thanks for reading.
Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal
Follow for more similar insights.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
 |
—
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
