I’ve never understood the notion that “dating sucks”.
Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, I always have a good time on a date.
I’ve noticed that those who don’t tend to make the same mistakes.
If you think dating sucks, here’s what you’re probably doing wrong.
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You’re Dating People You Barely Know
My former housemate was a Tinder savage. He’d arrange several dates per week just by swiping and sending a few messages.
Sometimes, he’d bring his Tinder dates home. Other times, she was too shy, stuck-up, rude, didn’t look like her photos or all of the above.
That’s what happens when you roll the dice on online dating.
You’re choosing people based solely on their photos and maybe their banter over text. You have no idea whether there’ll be chemistry in the real world. So, of course, your date is going to suck sometimes.
Women are taking a far bigger risk when they decide to meet a stranger from the internet. This guy might not just be a shy catfish, he might be dangerous.
With that said, he’s more likely to be a f*ckboy who pretends to like her, sleeps with her and never contacts her again. That’s what happens when all desirable women swipe right on the same small percentage of studs.
These scenarios were far less common when we were forced to find dates in the real world. Back then, a man would approach a woman and she’d sense if he was her type of guy. There’d be real-life chemistry before they swapped contact details and arranged a date. They’d be excited to meet each other, rather than hoping that the other person is cool.
Dating apps might be able to get you more dates with complete strangers (if you look good enough), but it’s a lucky dip as far as whether you’ll enjoy that person’s company.
If you’re sick of wasting time on dates that lead nowhere, start trying to meet potential partners in the real world.
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You’re More Focused On The Outcome Than Enjoying The Moment
If you only enjoy the dates that lead somewhere, you’re going to dislike most of the dates you go on.
You’re not going to have amazing chemistry with most people you date, after all.
When I’m not on a date, I’m usually working, working out or watching YouTube alone.
I’d much rather be eating delicious food with a beautiful woman than doing all these other things, so it’s easy to enjoy myself! Even if she never wants to see me again.
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You’re Going On The Same Boring Dates Over And Over Again
On most dates, you’re either going to eat or drink something together.
Since most people aren’t amazing conversationalists, you’ll probably be answering the same ‘getting to know you’ questions again.
It can feel like Groundhog Day, particularly if you keep dating good-looking people with no substance from Tinder.
If you’re sick and tired of this, insist on something different. How about a date with an activity you’ve never done before? That can be enjoyable even if your date is a dud.
At the very least, go somewhere where you know you’re going to love the food.
Oh, and here are some strategies to avoid asking the same boring first-date questions to a woman.
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You Care What The Person Thinks Of You
This is similar to being too outcome-focused, but a lot more painful.
When you base your self-esteem on this stranger’s opinion of you, your date will feel like a job interview. And every bad date will break you in two.
You should learn to love yourself before you date anyone. That’ll make it easier to focus on enjoying yourself instead of trying to impress the other person.
When you do that, you’ll come across as more fun to be around anyway.
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My 3-Step Guide To Guaranteeing A Fun Date
To summarise, here’s how I ensure I always enjoy myself on a date.
- Meet potential partners in the real world, so you’ll know you’ll get on with them.
- Do something novel and unique together.
- Don’t take it so seriously. HAVE FUN!
Not being in a huge rush to find a partner helps too. When you build an enjoyable life as a singleton, you won’t rush into dates with any idiot who’ll have you. You’ll also be less outcome-dependent on the dates you actually have.
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If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your confident masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Guillaume Bolduc on Unsplash
