There is a car, a person, behind me in the lane I want to be in. They are well behind me, and there is plenty of room. They have been there for several miles, at a consistent speed.
We have been highway buddies.
I turn my signal on.
They rapidly accelerate.
I rapidly anger.
…
It is early on a sunny Sunday morning. The interstate is dotted with cars, lanes are wide open.
I am on the on-ramp, accelerating. I am a stickler for getting to highway speed before trying to merge (another lesson for you kids), and so I am going about 67 miles per hour.
There is one car on this otherwise empty stretch of road. They are in the lane I need to merge into and with their speed, we are likely going to meet up.
I turn my signal on.
They don’t move.
I don’t want them to live any longer.
…
Being on the road is just a simulation of our bigger lives. We are all sharing this space, and we are all simultaneously trying to head towards our own destinations and goals. We can’t always communicate the way we want to, but we all need the whole thing to work out.
The best way to do that is to…
Let the other guy over.
…
A turn signal, in a very small way, is the behavior we want displayed in wars, politics, religion, sexuality, gender, and so much else. There seems to be consensus that we should all be talking, listening, and communicating more, and I can’t think of a better, simpler way to practice that than the turn signal.
It is a person saying “I need something, and with very little sacrifice on your part, you have the power to give it to me. Can we work together?”
So when someone is communicating with you, in the accepted manner of the environment you are both in, you need to listen, respond, and encourage.
Because this is what makes society work.
Occasionally, a person might not know how, be willing, or have the opportunity to communicate what they need.
…
You need to be paying attention, engaged, and aware of your surroundings. What will the other cars on the road need in the next seconds and minutes? What will the people around you need in the coming days and weeks?
You need to be looking for ways that you can facilitate them reaching their goals, especially when it means the whole system works better and you have to make almost zero effort.
…
Finally, you have a choice about how you feel and what you carry with you.
Do you want to carry the irritation and stress that results from blocking someone else or from competing with them?
Or do you want to carry with you the satisfaction of letting them over, encouraging them towards their desires, and knowing that they felt seen?
I hope you choose to let the other guy over.
…
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Mehrshad Rajabi on Unspalsh
