When women work together at a NYC retail cosmetic counter, they quickly become friends. In fact, about five of us developed a sisterly bond, discussing relationships, astrology, the afterlife, family, and even personal trauma, all the while organizing lipstick shades and skincare products on the sales floor. What started as a part-time job quickly morphed into therapy sessions, the way we’d each turn to each other after bad breakups, stealing makeup removers to wipe away dripping mascara from our crying eyes and covering them back up with fresh foundation.
But after we left that beauty company to move on to bigger and better things, there was one Israeli girl with whom I stayed in touch for over a decade. Our friendship grew in natural settings; she met my mother, celebrated birthday toasts, collaborated on social media, and I even dated a handsome bodybuilder whom I met through her. (A sexy, steamy love story for another blog!)
One day, she sent me a reel over Instagram about a tragedy in Israel. I thought it was another bombing since they often experience smaller scale ones, and I confess that I didn’t understand the gravity of that specific reel until I turned on the news. Every international media channel throughout the world was sharing video snippets of brutal Israeli attacks that took place on Oct 7th. Watching them seemed unreal; I’d heard of mass shootings before, but the concept of ancient barbarism hadn’t been a Western reality and hardly a topic of conversation.
I don’t know why this news headline hit me differently than any other. Maybe my threshold had been reached; I’m not sure why. But as I listened to families talk about their missing children, sisters, brothers, and friends who’d been kidnapped at a rave party, I found myself releasing tears that I couldn’t hold back when watching the television screen. That’s never happened before when I watched journalists reporting crimes. Every NYC bodega burglary, date rape, domestic violence case, house fire, or gang shoot-out was worthy of concerning heartbreak, so why did this specific crime shake me to my core?
Something inside of my spirit felt like this was a deeper level of darkness, not the kind of crime that gets solved just by throwing criminals behind bars. Something about this one felt, dare I say, untouchable, as if fighting this kind of evil required having weapons not made from this earth.
My Israeli friend and I checked on each other for the next few days. She took it way worse than I did because Israel is her homeland, and so every day, her mood swung back and forth between calmness and anxiety. It broke my heart to see her that way, constantly defending her nation because as soon as Israel went to war with Hamas, our social media feed overflooded with pro-Palestenian posts concerning lesser sympathy for Israeli deaths. Interestingly enough, she was never against the Palestine people. She’s a Reiki Master who infuses a Zen-like mindfulness approach into all of her make-up sessions as a beauty coach. And so, this war was something she had nothing to do with, as an Israeli-American woman who just enjoyed making women feel beautiful from the inside out. But just like that, her world changed overnight because of a raging war that was way out of her control.
In solidarity with my friend, I posted an Israeli flag to show support, but a Muslim make-up Artist got offended. I felt horrible because my intention wasn’t to hurt the Muslim woman’s feelings! And so, I reached out to her privately. I explained that it was interesting how I knew two incredible make-up Artists: an Israeli Jew and a Muslim. Then I explained that maybe it was a sign from the universe because they both shared a love for cosmetics, meaning they’d probably get along if I had a chance to introduce them. I further explained how my Israeli friend believes that Palestinians should be free too — from the terrorist group Hamas because Hamas is abusive.
The Muslim woman angrily questioned how I could talk about “peace” when her people were being genocided and then further explained that Hamas was not a terrorist group but a power for the Palestinian people. My jaw dropped, shocked. I agree with her that it was morally wrong to watch innocent civilians die in the crossfire of war; what I didn’t agree with was how she could defend a terrorist group that just barbarically murdered innocent people. Hence, the Muslim woman was American, just like my Israeli friend was American. Why did she see my friend as an enemy who had nothing to do with forces in the Middle East beyond her control?
Interestingly enough, another friend of mine posted a picture of an Israeli and Palestinian female movement where the two ethnic groups marched side by side for peace through the streets of Israel. Unfortunately, the picture didn’t go viral, but it felt right when I saw it. Instead of fighting, these two groups of women shared the same message: Peace. It made sense; they’re all mothers. And what mother would want to bury their child at war or look forward to becoming a mother who might have to endure that in the future?
Because of my mentality, I would’ve assumed that both of the makeup artists, who are American women, would’ve shared the same sentiments despite their ethnicities coming from Israel and Palestine — especially since they’re both on new land: America, building their careers and living a life of free speech, creative ambitions, and diversity. But at least there was one group of Israeli and Palestinian women marching together in peace, even if they didn’t receive enough media coverage. Unfortunately, if it isn’t drama, then it isn’t news — and I’m pretty sure the mainstream media is partly to blame for this massive division in today’s society. While they can promote the deadliest of stories (guaranteed to raise ratings), they can also promote more stories of peace, which exist, even if we’re not seeing enough of them.
Read last year’s blog about how women will save the world. (I had no idea we would be where we are today, and yet that piece is so relevant right now)
As the month progressed, more and more people gathered worldwide, chanting, “Cease Fire.” When viewing images of innocent children dying in Gaza from Israeli bombing, the world couldn’t take it. But another problem arose as people’s sympathy turned to Gaza’s women and children, overshadowing the barbaric events of Oct 7th because they felt that Israelis were colonizers who’d been oppressing the Palestinian race for 75 years.
And just like that, one of our greatest symbols of the feminine movement decided to shock the world with raw footage of the Hamas attacks on Israel. It was Wonder Woman’s Actress, Gal Gadot. Out of all of the Hollywood Actresses on the planet, what are the odds that DC’s Wonder Woman happens to be Israeli, who was able to make such a bold move in the midst of cancel culture that did not even exist when the film was first released in 2017? And then I thought to myself that perhaps the Muslim makeup Artist who defended Hamas was, in some ways, like an abused woman who defended her husband regardless of all the ways he’s hurt her. It’s an opinion, I know. But I myself was in an abusive relationship over 10 years ago. In fact, it was one of the topics that my female co-workers and I would talk about back at the retail beauty counter. Remember how I said that we’d dry each other’s dripping mascara from our crying eyes? It’s because sometimes, I’d talk about that experience along with another girl who was also hiding in an abusive relationship.
To circle it back to that time, I remember loving my ex-boyfriend so much that I wanted to save him from himself. With an addiction to drugs and an unforgivable temper, I made excuses for his behavior because my heart felt horrible for the things he endured in childhood. I disagreed with his ways but understood him and constantly wished he would get help because he was human. I got no pleasure out of thinking that he should be punished. Instead, I prayed for him, but in his case, it was too late because he was too far gone off the deep end to change.
So, in that regard, I can understand why people defend others despite them being “troubled souls.” Regardless of the crimes or atrocities that one makes, we believe there was a reason behind it (and perhaps there was). And so our loyalty that is bonded to the person or people makes it harder to turn our backs on them, even when it’s evident that their toxicity has gone past the point of no return. It’s like we turn a blind eye, not out of being naive but out of being compassionately loving, and although it’s a healthy attribute to be hopeful, extremely unhealthy people don’t think the same, and that’s why we have protection.
Obviously, not all Muslim men are terrorists, and not all Muslim women are brainwashed. That would be such an ignorant misconception. But, I think (and I hope) that most people would agree that Hamas is a terrorist group for beheading civilians and burning them alive. And, let’s remember, Hamas doesn’t represent all Muslim people or Palestinians. Each and every single human being is an individual with their own character and free thought. It would be dangerous to paint all people from the same ethnicity with the same brush.
In fact, I’ve been watching interviews on Mosab Hassan, a son born to one of the co-founding leaders of Hamas. Case in point, Mosab decided to leave the terrorist organization to which his family disowned him for turning his back on them, and today, he warns Westerners of the evil lengths of barbarism that Hamas is willing to go in order to dominate.
Controversy still sparks because some people fear he may be a “double agent” working undercover since he was born to Hamas, but if we are to believe that he is truthful, then his courage to do the right thing against all odds is a testimony to his character and integrity.
Finally, when deciding whether this is a religious war or a revolution? I believe that until we see that our free will creates our realities, then we will know that true beauty comes from within. The way women gather around holding space for one another, without force or guilt, but with sincere concern. We mother each other without even realizing it through our listening ears and open communication, just like we did so naturally at the retail beauty counter, choosing which glittery eye shadow we’d wear for a date night after work or celebration. We beautified one another, celebrated one another, and talked from the beginning of our shift all the way until we clocked out. Who would’ve thought that our political climate would be so influential an entire decade later that it would destroy even our ability to talk about our differences? Now, we are considered “traitors,” “enemies,” and “racists” for not immediately sharing the same opinions that someone else feels on particular issues, deeming us disconnected. With so much rage, anger, impatience, guilt, and fear, I wonder about the kind of energy we’re feeding.
Although I’m not completely sure, I believe part of the healing and solutions to our world’s issues may start with a mother’s love for her children. This is something that I can’t see women disagreeing on, as we all want our children to grow up in a safe and prosperous world. Maybe then, love will be our one true religion, where the only fire that will cease is for a devil who can no longer exist, especially when we learn how to unleash the “wonder woman” inside us all.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
