“Something’s not right with your son.”
These are the words no parent wants to hear.
I’ll never forget the day my child’s daycare teacher pulled me aside and shared her concerns about my son’s thumb.
The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized she was right, and the more infuriated I was at his doctors for not noticing sooner.
His hands had always been tight, and I remember when he was 3–4 months old, his hands were still tight. He didn’t grab and play with toys like other babies his age.
My husband and I mentioned it to his doctor at his 4-month appointment, and we were told we weren’t motivating him enough. He hated tummy time, so we thought that could be part of the problem.
We were told to let him cry and push him to do more tummy time.
So we did that.
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At five months old — during our annual trip to Mall of America — my child expressed interest in a toy for the first time.
It was a sensory toy.
I jokingly told my husband that if he put it in his mouth, we’d have to buy it. Guess what he did? It was the first toy he put in his mouth, so of course, we bought it, and it remained his favorite toy for months to come.
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Time passed, and my son started to express interest in toys like any baby. We chalked up our previous worries to him developing at his own speed like all children do. He’s our first child, so we haven’t been through this before.
I have a nephew who’s five months older than my son, and his motor skills have always been advanced, so I stopped comparing my son to him a long time ago.
They’re different kids, and that’s okay. My sister and I were different kids, so it makes sense our kids would be different from each other. I was a more mellow child than my sister, and my son was a more mellow baby than my nephew.
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We were able to keep my son out of daycare until he was 18 months old when it was vital I start proactively earning more money to support our family.
I also thought it would be good for him to be around other kids and learn from them to prepare him for preschool and kindergarten. I’d noticed from taking him to events at the library that he learned quicker from other kids than from me.
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About a month after my son started daycare, his teacher pulled us aside to share some of her concerns. She had noticed he was favoring his right side, and his left thumb was clasped all the time.
I went back and looked at photos from his babyhood, and she was right. He was always clasping his thumb, and it was obvious in pictures. I found myself wondering how a doctor had not noticed this.
My son walked at 16 months old — on the later end of normal, but still normal. Most of my concerns about his development were alleviated when he started walking. I thought — hurray — he won’t need therapy after all, because his doctor was talking about getting him evaluated if he wasn’t walking by 17 months.
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I did a lot of Googling and learned about congenital clasped thumb. It sounded exactly like what my son had, and the only cure for it was surgery if it was caught after 2 years old.
Anxious, I wanted to get him seen as soon as possible since his second birthday was approaching. We made an appointment with our local pediatric orthopedic center in May, two months before his second birthday.
The pediatric orthopedic doctor agreed that he had a congenital clasped thumb and referred him to a pediatric hand specialist 3.5 hours away (the closest one to us). We made that appointment in August, a month after his second birthday.
Anticipating he was going to need surgery, we prepared ourselves for the news. When August rolled around and we met with the doctor, we were surprised by her findings.
Our son’s thumb had improved since his previous appointment. It was no longer completely clasped. This meant he did not have a congenital clasped thumb.
The doctor concluded whatever was going on must be neurological and suggested he start occupational therapy.
Fortunately, our son goes to a daycare that is partnered with an organization that provides therapies for children. We were able to schedule him for an evaluation in September, which supported the fact that he would benefit from occupational therapy.
What is Occupational Therapy?
The goal of occupational therapy is to help participants participate in everyday activities. Occupational therapists help children build fine motor skills. They can also help adults regain independence after an injury.
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My child started his first occupational therapy session on November 7th.
His biggest struggle has always been using both hands. For example, coloring is hard for him because he struggles to hold onto the paper to support it with his left hand.
His first session introduced him to two toys that urge him to use both hands, and I can already see such a difference in his abilities.
If you have a little one with a weak hand, I 100% recommend these toys to encourage them to use both hands.
The Toys
1. Spinning Stacking Toy
He immediately took a liking to this toy and wanted to play with it throughout the whole session. The toy requires him to hold the base for support while he places the gear on top of it. Then he gets to watch it spin to the bottom.
2. Play Food Toys with Cutting Boards and Accessories
He is obsessed with play food, so I had a feeling he was going to like these when I saw the occupational therapist bring them out. These toys are innovative and unlike other play food because they pull apart and “cut” in half.
They also come with a little knife and cutting board, which force him to use both hands while “cutting” the food. He holds onto the food with one hand and uses the “knife” with the other — just like an actual cook.
This toy is brilliant, and I wish we’d found it sooner!
The Power of Toys
Finding the right toys is crucial for your child’s development, especially if they have a delay in one or more areas. As a new parent, I didn’t even know these toys existed until I saw his occupational therapist use them.
It can be a hard pill to swallow when you learn your child is struggling. My son is lucky to have supportive professionals to teach him how to use his left thumb.
If your little one is struggling, know that it’s not your fault, and they might just need a little extra help — or a new toy.
The best toys are the ones our kiddos don’t realize are helping them.
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This post contains affiliate links. If you buy one of the toys mentioned in this article (at no extra cost to you), I may earn a small commission.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Yuri Shirota on Unsplash
