Recently, I read the book ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman. The author has very precisely discussed the ways of expressing love and commitment to one’s partner. The five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
I have been in a relationship, and more than expressing love, there are certain crucial factors required to form a meaningful and healthy relationship, especially in this modern era, and in this article, I’m going to say what those are.
Let’s dive in.
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Lifestyle
Lifestyle matching has become a very crucial aspect of modern-day relationships.
A non-coinciding lifestyle can cause conflicts between two people in a relationship.
It will be better if both people are brought up with the same family background and have the same kind of lifestyle. If not, that is the aspect where the heavenly relationship will become hell.
Lifestyle is often based on money, and if the person who is spending money feels uncomfortable spending more money, for example, it starts with a simple argument like one wants to eat in a luxurious restaurant and the other wants not to eat there.
It is a very simple example, and if I have to tell you, there will be a list of examples that can depict the difference in lifestyles of two people in a relationship.
Financial background plays a major role in forming relationships, even if it is a love relationship before marriage. So look into this aspect because money can drive humans crazy.
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Ideologies and Beliefs
Everybody has their own beliefs and ideologies. But when it comes to relationships or marriage, it must be taken care that either you have the same set of beliefs or both are ready to agree with each other’s beliefs without causing conflicts.
Why am I talking about ideologies and beliefs?
A life partner is the one with whom you wish to spend your entire lifetime until they are alive.
So ideologies and beliefs have a major role in building a strong mental connection between each other, and it’s the foundation of forming a good and healthy family.
Having different beliefs and ideologies about life can lead to offending each other, which adversely affects and finally degrades the relationship, sabotaging each other’s sanity and sleep.
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Intellectuality
Today’s new generation often has the privilege of a good education, well-developed technology, and access to learning new skills.
People are upgrading themselves intellectually, and now education has become a major factor in choosing one’s partner.
Love is all about educating each other in this entire lifetime to become a better version of each other, but the fact is that today’s relationships demand everybody to be perfectly aligned, as if they don’t need anymore perfection.
There was a time when people said it all required a good heart to love someone truly, but now it requires brain too.
A good relationship involves taking responsibility for each other’s growth and becoming a better version of themselves.
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Final thoughts
Modern-day relationships have become far more complicated, and they require the factors that I have discussed above.
More than that, it is important to regulate our emotions properly, which means being emotionally intelligent to tackle the problems in today’s relationships.
Bursting out is going to do no good, but it is the start of building a graveyard for one’s relationship.
Cultivating emotional intelligence is very necessary to save our relationship because this is not the stone age and people have various options to choose from and form new relationships.
Today’s relationships seek broader and wider perspectives, but I still believe that it only requires a good heart to love someone, not a good brain.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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