Note: this article talks about the positioning of men in society. The article and author have no intentions to hate men. The article also factors the generation of men the author’s mother married into. I don’t hate men, I do however hold the patriarchy accountable.
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My mother’s backstory has a lot to draw from, and there’s more to draw from mine.
When mentors and coaches say that women are more likely to land in poverty, there’s a reason why.
And the South Asian diaspora, has a lot of issues with how the word of the woman isn’t the final word.
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The times haven’t changed, despite some circumstances changing.
Men have the final word when it comes to their influence among other married couples or women who value their final word.
Unfortunately, a lot of men and women were and still are trained this way today. There are countless family friends I see who still create the disparity or their sons will continue it in some way.
When it comes down to how women can uplift themselves in life to win on all fronts, that’s considered “against men.” When it comes to how women should stay in their place, it’s considered keeping the family unit.
Now I’m a person who first and foremost, believes in keeping the family unit. However, if the perceptions are different for how women should be in their day-to-day lives, we have some issues.
My mother’s story is how I know that she and countless women suffer the consequences of their husbands hating them subconsciously. I wonder why they were ready to get married if they wanted to choose their partners. It seems like they were never trained to respect women.
The family friends she’s known since childhood that have moved to New York, family friends locally, and relatives all seem to bow down in respect to my father and continuously ignore her.
He’s the breadwinner, he knows computer science, and he must earn well.
But his character is never questioned — — he has the final say.
My mother says to me now, to always date with higher standards — knowing you could be equally as alone in your relationships if you don’t.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Outcast India on Unsplash
