When we’re in a relationship, many of us want to be happy. The problem is that we sometimes find ourselves compromising what we really want in order to make things work — and we might not even realize it.
Here are eight signs you’re settling in your relationship.
1. You’ve Lowered Your Standards
Have you found yourself accepting things in this relationship that you never would have dealt with in the past? I’m not talking about situations where people have unrealistic standards. But if you Maybe your significant other isn’t treating you right or maybe they’re not communicating as much as you need them to.
If you find yourself excusing their behavior when it comes to things you know you need in order to be happy, this is a big sign that you’re settling.
2. You’re Unhappy More Often Than You’re Happy
Have you ever heard the 80/20 rule when it comes to relationships? Some relationship experts say that we should be happy with our significant others at least 80% of the time and unhappy only 20% of the time (at the most). If you find that you’re not even close to these percentages, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship altogether.
3. You Ignore Their Red Flags
There are so many types of behavior that we may consider to be red flags. If your significant other is secretive, jealous, controlling, abusive, unwilling to compromise, a gaslighter or a poor communicator, these are all things that can be alarming. If you find yourself looking past these red flags to make the relationship work, you’re probably settling.
4. You Find Yourself Comparing the Relationship to Other Couples
Do you often find yourself comparing your relationship to that of your friends or family members? Maybe your sister’s husband is a great communicator, or your best friend’s boyfriend does the dishes after she cooks dinner. Or maybe it feels like everyone else is moving faster in their relationships, while yours is moving at a turtle’s pace (even though you feel ready to move onto the next chapter of your life).
Constantly comparing your relationship to other couples could mean you’re not satisfied in the relationship… even if you don’t realize it.
5. A Future With Them Doesn’t Excite You
If you’re with the right person, the idea of long-term commitment with your significant other should be exciting. If you want children, this is something else you might also be envisioning for your future.
If a future with your S.O. isn’t something that you think about, it may be time to figure out why. Although it is possible that you could be a commitment phobe, it’s just as possible that this might not be the person for you.
6. They Annoy You Most of the Time
It’s normal to feel annoyed by your significant other at times, especially if you spend a lot of time together. (Remember what it was like to live with someone during the 2020 COVID lockdown?). But if you’re not constantly together and you still find yourself annoyed at everything they say, it might be time to consider if this is really who you want to be with.
7. You Wonder If You’d Be Better Off Alone
If you’re with the right person, the idea of a world without them doesn’t feel complete. If you often find yourself wondering if you’d be better off alone, it’s safe to say that you’re settling (and it might be time to actually make the decision to be alone).
8. You Know You Deserve Better
Do you know deep down that you deserve better? If so, then odds are that you’re settling. If you’re putting up with someone who doesn’t treat you right or even abuses you, then it’s time to get out of this relationship. Because at the end of the day, you deserve someone who is worthy of your life — even if your current significant other tells you otherwise.
No one should ever have to settle when it comes to love. Remember, there are 7.8 billion people in this world. If the person you’re dating doesn’t check all — or even some — of your boxes, there’s someone else out there who will.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Kate Kozyrka on Unsplash
