“I don’t know if I can believe him,” I say.
“What’s he saying now?” ask my friends.
I turn to talk to one of them
“Bars are bad,” I say.
“Bars and bad boys,” she says.
“Exactly,” I say. “Bars are the worst place to meet a guy after a divorce.
They are the worst place.
I know this.
But I met my ‘Text Guy’ at a bar. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should never have let my guard down. Bars might have been okay when we were younger.
They aren’t necessarily okay after a divorce.
Don’t get me wrong.
They’re fun.
People should have fun in bars. But I don’t think they’re the right place to meet a guy after a divorce. You have to be suspect. You have to sift through the divorce weeds, and lies.
It’s a cautionary tale.
Bars should be a great girl’s night out.
They shouldn’t be a dating playground.
You don’t know what you will find. You don’t know who you can believe. You don’t know who’s really married, and who’s really divorced. You don’t know what’s up, and what’s down.
I feel tossed upside down.
I’ve never met someone I don’t know what to make of to this degree.
He’s goodness.
He’s also someone I don’t know what to make of. I think he’s lying, and then he keeps proving me wrong. At the same time, why do I have a gut instinct that something’s not right?
And then I tell myself…
What were you thinking meeting a guy in a bar after a divorce.
You know better.
It’s the exact reason you waited years to date after divorce. It’s the reason you lived in a town center, and refused to go out regularly for four years. You didn’t want to be that woman.
The woman who met a man in a bar.
Because you were smart enough to know you might not know what they were looking for. You were smart enough to know they might not be sincere.
You were wise enough to know they might be bad for you.
But you let one in.
You let your guard down.
Now you don’t know how it will turn out.
Bars, bad boys, and divorce.
Bars are the worst place to meet a man.
At least for this girl.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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