Every Cheater’s Dirty Little Secrets

As an observer of human relationships I have witnessed many of them unravel and sadly some before my very eyes. As we all know, most times, infidelity is a complex phenomenon, but I have come to understand that behind every cheater is a web concealed secrets that have the power to shatter lives.

I have also always been curious as to what goes on in the minds of people who choose to betray the ones they claim to love; or what hidden truths lay beneath the surface of seemingly stable relationships that causes them to unravel?

Here we will to look at some of the damage inflicted upon betrayed partners, had they been aware of these secrets their cheaters were keeping from them, they may have been spared the pain and heartache they endured.

1. Their level of emotional investment:

At the heart of affairs is one hidden truth: the depth of emotional attachment the cheater shares with the affair partner. Those stolen moments can sometimes establish bonds that even rival those of the primary relationships. However, this emotional investment must remain a secret, at least from the primary partner. Surprisingly, many cheaters continue to deny its existence even after the affair has been discovered.

“Surprisingly, many cheaters continue to deny its existence even after the affair has been discovered.”

Awareness of a straying partner’s emotional investment elsewhere would certainly be useful to a betrayed partner. For one thing, it will enable them to make informed decisions about the relationship’s future. With this knowledge, they can assess the extent of the betrayal and decide on the best course of action for themselves moving forward.

2. The financial ramifications:

Infidelity, of course, comes at many prices, and one of them is, financial. Money is like the cheater’s silent accomplice, because it funds the lavish gifts, the nice dinners, and secures the venues to spend those stolen moments, all of which fuel the flames of desire.

Every expenditure is actually a carefully calculated risk because the cheater knows the potential consequences of their spending habits being discovered. Nonetheless, they still take the risk because they are necessary to maintain secrecy and to keep the fire burning.

“Every expenditure is actually a carefully calculated risk, because the cheater knows the potential consequences of their spending habits being discovered.”

3. The sexual health risks they are exposing their committed partner to:

Finally, we come to one concealed truth with the potential to inflict untold harm because he risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) alone is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

Awareness of sexual health risks will, however, enable a partner being cheated on to prioritize their own health. Knowing they are risk, they can seek medical attention, undergo testing for STIs, and take other proactive measures to protect themselves from further harm, especially in cases where the cheating partner has engaged in unprotected sex or multiple sexual encounters which significantly raises the risk of contracting and transmitting STIs.

Keeping secrets exacts a toll on all parties involved

For the cheater: the constant fear of being discovered, coupled with the emotional toll of juggling multiple relationships can take a toll on their mental and emotional well-being. Plus, the financial implications of funding the affair in secret can further add to their stress.
For the primary partner who is being cheated on: emotionally, discovering that their partner has been emotionally invested in someone else can shatter their sense of security in the relationship; financially, realizing that their partner has been spending money on an affair can lead to feelings of betrayal; and of course, the discovery of sexual health risks resulting from their partner’s indiscretions can pose serious threats to their physical health and well-being.

Ignorance is definitely not bliss

At least not in this case. The partner who is being cheated on will definitely be better off knowing these secrets, despite the heartache that may follow the revelations. As we have already mentioned, bringing these secrets to light enables the betrayed partner to make informed decisions; they will know to seek the support they need, and also take steps to protect their physical health and well-being.

Finally, knowing these truths will empower partners who have been cheated on to confront their straying partner and hold them accountable for their actions, and reclaiming their agency and self-worth in the process.

This confrontation being an opportunity for open and honest communication, can also be an avenue for potentially salvaging the relationship if both parties are willing.

“The partner who is being cheated on will definitely be better off knowing these secrets, despite the heartache that may follow the revelations.”

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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