Summer flings seem like a lifelong romance. On rare occasions you could be like Lena and Kostas from the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants but that’s not real life. When summer is over long-distance relationships get hard to manage since questioning your partner’s where about becomes easier and insecurity can tear your relationship apart.
I’ve learned it takes about two weeks to a month to “fall in love” with someone new. After the honeymoon phase is over you get to see yourself reflected in who the person is your married. Their true colors come through and this is when you decide whether its worth staying or not. That’s why people give up after the honeymoon stage. They don’t stay because true love isn’t just a feeling — it’s a commitment.
The sad news is that as soon as commitment is established towards marriage or sex is thrown into the mix too soon without a real emotional connection men will leave. Their pea-sized masculine cavemen brains are wired differently than women and the hormones they emit after sex like vasopressin makes them feel sleepy and they roll over without cuddling. Sex was just something physical to them while they had no emotional attachment to her making it easier for him to leave because he was just satisfying a physical need.
Couples usually break up because the feeling of novelty after the honeymoon stage is something most people search for when we get tired of monotony in daily life because old romances like our grandparents are hard to come by. I wish I had the type of relationship like my grandparents. The kind where you grow old with someone and enjoy being alone with yourself with someone special by your side.
However, people our age usually get a wandering eye. And so the cycle begins again when he or she looks for that dopamine rush in someone new when they find out that they had a beautiful emotional connection at home that they took for granted. So, just give it two weeks. If he is putting too much pressure on you to see you in secret he has no intention of committing to you. He just wants one thing. That summer fling which seems sweet but is always over too soon.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Atharva Dharmadhikari on Unsplash
