Is Your Life Going in a “Good” Direction? Tips to Get You On the Right Path to Fulfillment

By Deborah Holmén, M.Ed., NBCT

I think all of us have stopped and paused at least once in our lives and seriously contemplated those words: “Am I going in the right direction?” For most of us, it hits us long enough to pause and decide to make the necessary changes. However, what if you can’t see the new path to follow? I share how I went through this process, which brought me to the life I am now living.

Recognizing the Need for Change

I’m not sure why it seems to hit most people when they are in their thirties. That’s when it happened to me. More often than not, people say it was 33 when they came to these crossroads, much like Jesus, they claim.

It makes sense. At that point, we’d lived under our parents’ care for half of our lives, and we now see the fruits of our lives through our own choices.

There comes the moment we ask ourselves, “How’s this working for me?” Something in yourself caused that inner stirring, and now you’re ready to confront it. You also know there is more. You are meant for more.

Many external forces are at play here. You are finally witness to your life. Your job, relationships, or even your health eludes the happiness you thought you would obtain by this age. So, what do you do?

Exploring Alternative Paths

I yearned for guidance, so I turned to books. The world is filled with countless books, but somehow, the right ones found me.

When I expressed my desire for change, life presented me with a plan. It’s unnecessary to start from scratch when there’s so much wisdom available from those who came before me.

As I mention in my book, It Takes a Lot of Sh*t to Grow Beautiful Flowers: A Gardener’s Guide to Life, I share how I went on this path to self-discovery.

I found the writings of Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tollé, Ernest Holmes, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. These are just a few of the mentors who resonated with the deepest part of me. Without their direction, I would be on a completely different path.

I also began journaling to connect with the quieter mind that helped guide my path. You may want to learn to meditate or do a form of active meditation. I prefer active meditation because I get into a zone more easily, and those quiet thoughts will come.

Embracing the Journey

I will warn you when you decide to make the change, your life will change! You will see things unfold that you may have been blind to earlier. It’s not always pleasant since you will shed the ‘old’ you, and like the snake, removing that old outer skin will become uncomfortable.

Relationships will change. Your job may no longer fulfill you, and you’ll feel restless, wanting more out of life. What you read resonates with you, as if a veil has been lifted from your eyes, heart, and mind, and you begin to see the world differently.

I began to plan my escape from an abusive marriage. I received several degrees to prepare myself financially. My intuition grew to the point where I could understand that inner whisper of guidance.

I sacrificed the security of my previous career and savings to depend on the uncertainty of life, knowing it was for a greater purpose.

I say this from my own personal experience and reading hundreds of others’ experiences. The wheels of change occur when you put thoughts into motion, and then your thoughts and actions will open up doors that were unseen before for you.

Don’t be fooled into thinking all will come to you. You will have to put in the work to change. You may need to get your health under control until you can change your career. You may also need counseling to see what changes need to be made in your relationships.

If you’re complaining about things, look at why. It may be that you keep repeating this cycle and are subconsciously tired of the same results. Nothing will change until you put in the work to change.

Living the New Life

You will know when you have made the right changes. You will be able to handle and react to what life brings you, and you won’t feel the resistance you used to have to change.

You will be able to look back on the steps that came to you without knowing the ‘how.’

The people I needed came into my life when I least expected them. I put the thought out into the world, and they eventually appeared. The job came to me, and the resources I needed came to me.

I quit my job, lived on a boat, and changed my path to health and wellness. I am writing full-time, have authored several books, and ghostwrite for others in the medical, health, and wellness industries. My relationship is amazingly simple and beautiful.

I focused differently on what I wanted my life to become. My only work was being open to change and accepting what came next.

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Deborah Holmen’s inspirational memoir, It Takes a Lot of Sh*t to Grow Beautiful Flowers: A Gardener’s Guide to Life, shares her journey of the challenges — or sh*t we all go through — and turns it into a beautiful life. Available in bookstores now.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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