Over the past week, my wife and I watched one of the most chilling and horrifying TV series either of us ever saw: “A Friend of the Family.” We followed up that 9-episode series with the 2022 documentary about this extraordinary pedophilia case — which was titled “A Friend of the Family: True Evil.” Both are currently showing on the Peacock streaming channel.
The series and documentary both chronicle the long-term sexual and psychological abuse of a young girl, Jan Broberg — and the chilling, mind-boggling manipulation that her abuser engaged in with Jan, her parents, her church, and her entire family. Her abuser was a delightful, much-loved family man who everyone called ‘B’ (for Bob) — and who was universally loved and trusted by everyone who knew him. Huge mistake.
I recommend that every serious student of human nature and human pathology watch this series and the documentary.
Four fundamental ‘core’ issues
But I’m not writing to present a synopsis of this series or the equally potent documentary. I’m writing today to give voice to the essential elements or ‘teachings’ contained in these remarkable TV programs, which I’d break down into four fundamental, core issues:
1) How malleable, impressionable, and easily influenced — in both good and bad ways — many people are. In this case, ‘B’ manipulated and deceived hundreds of people over many years, including children, adults, parents, church ‘elders,’ entire families, and our justice and psychiatric systems.
2) Psychopaths can be very charming, and present themselves as likable, loving, giving, and trustworthy. Not all psychopaths are sexual predators, but being a psychopath provides a psychological edge that helps an ‘average’ predator become a great, highly effective sexual predator. ‘B’ was clearly both.
3) Psychopathic sexual predators like ‘B’ often play a ‘long game,’ and plan their devious manipulations well in advance… even years in advance. It’s like the proverbial game of ‘cat and mouse’ — except here the mice don’t know they’re being chased, the cat has convinced them he’s their ‘good friend,’ and meanwhile, he’s cleverly stalking them and setting them up to fall into his traps. And wow, what incredible, mind-blowing traps! (I won’t give them away here, but trust me, you won’t believe some of the crazy, super-manipulative shit this guy pulls, and convinces other people to believe/trust as well!)
4) Sexual abuse and pedophilia are far more common than we know, or are usually willing to admit. Our society (the U.S.) harbors a large number of sexual predators, but almost all of them are very well-hidden — disguised as loving, caring, ‘normal’ people.
. . .
Now I’m going to explore each of these issues in greater depth.
The seduction of the shared ‘mission’
Issue #1: How malleable, impressionable, and easily influenced — in both good and bad ways — many people are. Both the documentary and the series depict in graphic, horrifying detail the many ways Jan Broberg, her parents, her church, and also other families and children were easily deceived and manipulated by ‘B’.
Starting at age 12, Jan was heavily brainwashed by ‘B’ into believing that he and she had been ‘selected’ by space aliens to assist them in saving their alien civilization — and the way to ‘save’ them, of course, involved physical closeness and intimacy, and eventually having a child together. (For the record, I am NOT a total skeptic when it comes to UFOs and possible alien contact. But ‘B’ merely used the ‘alien’ theme for his own nefarious purposes.)
And like most sexual predators, ‘B’ convinced Jan that their ‘mission’ had to be their closely guarded secret. No one else could know about it, especially Jan’s parents and siblings — and if anyone did learn of their secret, terrible things would happen to them, such as being ‘vaporized’ or ‘disappeared.’ This secrecy binds predator and prey together, and shields their budding ‘relationship’ from prying eyes and parents.
Again, I won’t go into the entire, amazing storyline of ‘B’s bizarre “It’s up to us to save the going-extinct space aliens” seduction plot. My point, rather, is that many of us are incrediblysuggestible — and easily brainwashed and manipulated.
‘B’ also manipulated Jan’s parents for years, and maneuvered them into compromising positions; he actually seduced both of them sexually, in order to have something to hold over them and in effect blackmail them. But all of these actions were taken to split the parents apart, weaken their relationship — and protect and strengthen his ongoing abusive ‘relationship’ with Jan.
‘B’ presented himself as SO loving, interested, and caring that it was literally “too good to be true.” All along, in reality, he was very much the exact opposite: selfish, manipulative, and uncaring. But the key point is: people invariably believed his ‘act.’ He managed to easily fool and manipulate hundreds of decent, supposedly aware, ‘mature’ adults, as well as several young, impressionable children.
It’s a horrifying look into the depths of human depravity, and also into the depths of human ignorance and our susceptibility to seductive brainwashing.
The hard-to-see pathology of the psychopath
Issue #2: Psychopaths can be very charming, and present themselves as likeable, loving, giving, and trustworthy. It’s not easy to distinguish ‘psychopaths’ from ‘sociopaths,’ but there are a few websites that explain the differences fairly well.
Verywellhealth.com explains that “A key difference between sociopaths and psychopaths relates to moral behavior and conscience… Sociopaths act more impulsively than psychopaths. Also, while sociopaths may have a weak conscience, psychopaths typically lack a conscience.”
One of ‘B’s key characteristics is his almost total lack of remorse, guilt, or any sort of conscience. He also embodies most other characteristics of psychopathy, such as lack of care for others, pathological lying, charming personality, lack of fear, inability to love, risk-taking behavior, poor judgment, and using relationships purely for personal gain.
In addition, ‘B’ showcases the devious, manipulative side of psychopaths, since his entire life was one long series of lies, deceptions, and cruel manipulations. Yet he was also a careful, meticulous planner; rather than being impulsive and trying to just grab what he wanted — ‘take the money and run’ — he planned, plotted, and patiently waited to get the (horrific) results he wanted.
As for psychopaths being quite ‘charming’ — well, that was a major aspect of his long-term plan. ‘B’ totally depended on, and forcefully projected, an image of being ‘nice,’ ‘caring,’ and a loyal, reliable friend. All who knew him, especially the families that got close to him and trusted him implicitly, liked and respected him. Often, he was described as their ‘best friend’ or a ‘good friend of the family.’
Thus, the title “A Friend of the Family.” The extent of ‘B’s deceptions and sadistic manipulations was truly staggering — and the toll he took on Jan’s family and other families was deep and intensely damaging. Only the fact that Jan’s family was truly loving, and shared strong bonds of caring for each other, allowed them to finally come to grips with their horrendous experience and reach some measure of peace and healing.
The ‘long game’ of psychopathic sexual predators
Issue #3: Psychopathic sexual predators like ‘B’ often play a very ‘long game,’ and plan their devious manipulations well in advance… even years in advance. It’s hard to know if ‘B’ truly planned and visualized his entire, elaborate plot totally in advance, or if he first came up with a few essential elements and then improvised the rest as his plans unfolded.
Either way, though, he clearly was able to put off immediate gratification to a degree, unlike some sexual predators, and was able and willing to play a very ‘long game.’
One of the most sinister manipulations he foisted on the Broberg family involved a rather convoluted plan that would allow him to ‘sleep’ next to their daughter. They had learned he was being treated for mood swings and depression, and he soon informed them that his psychiatrist had given him a special ‘healing tape’ which would have the best effect if he listened to it while resting or relaxing next to his good pal Jan!
And this is a measure of just how charming and convincing psychopaths can be: After some initial resistance, and much earnest entreaty on his part (“It would just help me SO much!”), they agreed and went along with his plan!
The part they didn’t know, and had no idea about until much, much later, was that he was drugging their daughter and molesting her as she slept — and this too went on for years, sometimes right under their noses in their own house! How creepy and despicable was that!?
But again, the main point is that psychopaths are fully capable of long-term, vicious manipulation and planning, and have no qualms whatsoever about deceiving and hurting those around them, especially those they claim to ‘love.’
Sexual abuse and pedophilia are common in the U.S.
Issue #4: Sexual abuse and pedophilia are far more common than we know, or are usually willing to admit. Over the past decade, these formerly taboo subjects have come out into the open and become much more mainstream.
According to a 2018 survey and the resulting report, “77 percent of women had experienced verbal sexual harassment, and 51 percent had been sexually touched without their permission. About 41 percent said they had been sexually harassed online, and 27 percent said they had survived sexual assault.”
Those are pretty astounding and deeply troubling statistics. Over half of all women who responded have experienced unwanted sexual touching, and over a quarter — 27% — said they were survivors of sexual assault. Both are truly astonishing statistics, for a society that considers itself ‘civilized.’
That is, they are astonishing until we recall that the U.S. is still a highly misogynistic, male-dominated culture — and that unfair treatment of women and outright mistreatment and abuse are often the norm here, not the exception.
But it’s possible that even these grim statistics don’t capture the whole story. According to my wife, who was kidnapped and barely escaped a sexual attack during her 20s, most women in our society have either been sexually assaulted themselves, or have friends or family members who were sexually assaulted.
Sadly, it’s quite possible, even likely, that most women today have been sexually assaulted, either as children or as young adults.
And that’s a dark, shameful stain on our storied U.S.A. — the supposed ‘land of the free.’ I guess that most of the time, this glorious ‘freedom’ includes men’s freedom to abuse, harass, and sexually assault women and even young girls.
Clearly, we still have a long way to go before we are truly civilized.
A highly uncomfortable, necessary learning process
This series and documentary on “A Friend of the Family” make for a very uncomfortable viewing experience — and that is as it should be, given the subject matter.
They are both highly disturbing, frightening, and at times infuriating. If you watch either of them (and I hope you do) you may find yourself overflowing with anger at the actions — or worse, inaction — of these parents, and, of course, the actions of ‘B’ himself.
But remember: this man ingratiated himself with this family (and others), and truly WAS viewed as a great ‘friend of the family’ — so they had no reason to suspect anything. That’s what makes all this SO creepy, and so very dangerous.
That’s exactly why we all need to hone our awareness of these devious, malignant predators.
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This post was previously published on ILLUMINATION.
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 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
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Photo credit: iStock
