Like many aspects of life, the dating world operates on the principle that when one door closes, another opens. While this new door may not swing open immediately, it’s crucial to understand that fresh opportunities always follow the closing of a door.
The conclusion of a job, a friendship, a relationship, or even a transformation of your identity can trigger the closing of a door. Yet, this is not a negative occurrence. Instead, we should perceive these closing doors as valuable lessons, not as failures or losses, but as reassurances that new opportunities are right around the corner, waiting for us to embrace them.
As a dating consultant, I have had the privilege of guiding individuals through the dating world and relationship challenges. I often work with people looking to get into relationships, those in relationships they know they need to end but are too scared to do so, or those who are settling for partners who do not treat them right.
I also help those who feel lost or broken when their relationships end because they allow others to define who they are. When these individuals first come to me, many say they feel like life is ending. Many are unsure of how they will find happiness or what they can do to get themselves out of their current rut.
But as we dig deeper to find out the root cause of what is holding them back, we find that they are holding on to the past and reliving a scenario that is not how they described it. Although it is easier for some people than others, we all have one behavior in common: we do not like change.
The fear of the unknown is something that we would rather avoid at all costs than alter our lives for the better. And while forced change is not something we quickly adapt to, it is often the push we need to take a closer look at ourselves and make more conscious choices about the future.
The first step in this process is allowing yourself to be open and ask for help. It is only when we are ready and willing to be vulnerable (and admit) that we are open to new experiences that we become less narrow-minded in our thinking. Rather than looking at a closing door as the worst possible outcome, step two is giving ourselves the permission to re-evaluate our mindset and our direction.
And finally, step three involves empowering ourselves to take on opportunities to make a new life plan that will place us back on track with who we are and what makes us truly happy. When we can finally embrace ourselves again, we no longer become beholden to another person’s approval.
Instead, we feel free and learn to regain control of our lives. Although this can be scary, the closing of one door can empowers us to try other doors that may lead to finding what we have been searching for all along.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash
