Born to Be Loved

I’ve always felt like love was supposed to be the answer. From the moment we’re born, aren’t we all just looking for it. In the way we cry for our mothers, the way we search for our father’s hands to hold. The way we chase friendships, relationships, the approval of everyone around us. It’s like this endless cycle of reaching out, hoping someone will reach back, and tell us that we’re enough, just as we are.

But somewhere along the way, it gets complicated. Love starts feeling like a game, something we have to earn, something that’s conditional. We begin to question if we’re worthy of it. Maybe we have to change ourselves, shrink down, or bend just enough to fit someone else’s idea of what we should be. I’ve done that. I’ve twisted myself into knots trying to be someone I wasn’t, hoping that if I became the “right” version of myself, I’d finally be loved the way I craved.

But here’s the thing I’m starting to realize — it was never about being the “right” version of me. I was always born to be loved, just as I am. That’s the part I forgot. I came into this world deserving of love simply because I exist. And so did you.

Love isn’t a transaction. It’s not something you can bargain for, like offering of yourself in exchange for someone else’s affection. No, real love sees you in all your mess and beauty and say, “I love you, anyway.” And I think that’s the hardest thing to accept — that we don’t have to be perfect, or fic every flaw, or meet every expectation to deserve it.

I’m learning to love myself in that way. To look in the mirror and see the parts of me I once wanted to hide, and instead of shame, offer myself kindness. Maybe I wasn’t loved the way I needed to be before, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of it. I am. We all are.

We’re born to be loved, not to be broken down, or told we aren’t enough. I refuse to believe that love should ever make us feel small or insignificant. If anything, it should expand us, lift us up, make us feel like the sky isn’t even the limit.

I’m still learning. I still have moments where I doubts where I wonder if I’ll ever find the kind of love that feels like coming home. But I remind myself — love isn’t something to be chased. It’s something to be lived. It’s already here, inside of me, inside of you. All we need to do is let it in.

We were born to be loved. And that’s something no one can take away.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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