Bromance Saves the Movie 'This Means War'

The photo shows a movie director's clapboard at nine o'clock, and a serving of popcorn in a red and white bucket at eight o'clock, all against a white background, with a sign that reads "MOVIE TIME" in red letters across the top;"with" in yellow near the middle; and "Jon Ochiai" in red from the center out to three o'clock. Altogether: "Movie Time with Jon Ochiai." At four o'clock, there are five golden colored stars under the name, and at six o'clock, two golden colored movie tickets that read Admit One. Jon Ochiai is the author of the movie review associated with this branded image.

Reese Witherspoon panicked at the wheel of the car speeds on Los Angeles freeway with dueling love interests, CIA agents played by Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. Pine fires off shots at bad guys in SUV, then screams to Hardy, “I missed you!” Hardy confesses, “I love you, man!” The Bromance between Pine and Hardy is the endearing deal in “This Means War”. Pine is an American player FDR. Hardy is the very British single father Tuck. So why is a Brit in the CIA?

Anyway, Pine is the cool guy, and Hardy is the solid guy in Director McG’s hysterical action-packed “This Means War”. This is surprising coming from McG, who must have a real name, and whose unfortunate claim to fame is the “Charlie’s Angels” movies, and the horrendous “Terminator: Salvation”.

Pine and Hardy play in position as cool and solid, and have amazing chemistry which sparks “This Means War”. Both are great looking guys, very athletic, and nail their action scenes with style whether leaping through the air shooting villains or leveraging deadly jujitsu moves. In this story CIA agents FDR and Tuck both fall in love with Lauren played by Witherspoon causing a rift in their friendship– threatening the buddy action picture genre.

Unfortunately, I think Witherspoon is horribly miscast. She does her best as cute and sweet Lauren, who is kind of a nerdy consumer products researcher rebounding from a failed relationship. The consumer researcher part is a unique twist in an otherwise perfunctory and predictable screenplay by Timothy Dowling and Simon Kinberg, from a story by Marcus Gautesen. I was puzzled that Kinberg, who wrote “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, didn’t strengthen the romantic elements or tension. Witherspoon is kind of left in a lurch because her Lauren is reduced to more or less a plot device.

Pine and Hardy’s rugged chemistry salvage this narrative shortcoming punctuating their underlying brotherhood. Tuck (Hardy) pretexts this gentleman’s agreement with FDR (Pine) not to have sex with Lauren while both pursue her affections by saying, “You know I would take a bullet for you.” Ultimately, there is a weird downside: We really don’t care who gets Lauren, as long as FDR and Tuck “kiss and makeup”. Dowling and Kinberg sufficiently provide the occasional shiny objects. FDR exudes touching vulnerability when he takes Lauren to visit his Nana (amazing Rosemary Harris), who raised him following a past family tragedy. Witherspoon is at her gracious best as Pine confesses, “There are no mistakes.” We get insight into Tuck’s burden as a single Dad for his son Joe (earnest John Paul Ruttan). His beautiful ex-wife Katie (stunning Abigail Spencer) is still the love of his life. Katie remains unaware of Tuck’s CIA life. On a light note, Tuck has a run in with Joe’s arrogant mixed martial arts instructor. For those who witnessed Hardy’s physical prowess in “Warrior”, we kind of know that this will not end well for him. Hardy has a subdued danger and power about himself, and it is nice to see the touching side. Pine is charming and funny, yet possesses a distinct gravitas. Their partnership and contrasting styles enroll us throughout “This Means War”.

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Director McG deflects the diluted narrative with accelerated action and kinetic sense of humor. His visual style is vibrant, crisp, and clean. The opening action sequence on a luxury high rise in Los Angeles is like a James Bond movie. Elegantly evil Til Schweiger is powerful dealer Heinrich, who along with his brother Jonas (Clint Carleton) double cross an Asian Clan in bloody shoot out. FDR and Tuck on the operation wield their guns, punches and kicks to apprehend Heinrich. The martial arts sequences are cool looking throughout. Tragically, FDR kills Jonas while protecting his bud Tuck. Heinrich flees in a dramatic base jump. Heinrich swears vengeance for his brother. None too pleased with the outcome and damages, CIA Director Collins (stern Angela Bassett) place FDR and Tuck on desk duty in the interim. Idle hands and minds, and on-line dating website inadvertently lead to Lauren.

One of the tangential story elements is Lauren’s romance and sex adviser Trish, played by hysterical Chelsea Handler. I am a fan of Handler. However, though she is funny her Trish is one-dimensional. Fortunately, she is the butt of a hilarious joke. FDR and Tuck watch a live surveillance feed of Lauren and Trish. Staring FDR says, “Why is she listening to that old man?” I read some interesting reviews on the stalker vibe of “This Means War”. In context, these are CIA guys leveraging high tech resources in the name of romance. Rarely, has the Patriot Act been used as a punch line. As long as Pine and Hardy are wrestling at the controls, I’m all for it. “This Means War” is action-packed, fun, and really entertaining.