—
So I didn’t realize I slammed the coffee on the table.
It was frustration. As I dug through the list of available jobs in my field I found myself getting more and more annoyed.
A job in Lincoln, Nebraska? Where the f*ck is that?
16–18 weeks of travel a year? That’s almost half a year!
Can someone, for Christ’s sake, get back to me from that job? Like soon?
I actually have had a pretty decent track record for getting interviews lately, not to toot my own horn. But I’m selective. I’m looking for a city with people like me. I’m looking for something where I can still come back to see family a few times a year.
And I’m sure all that is reasonable.
But I’m also just comfortable and comfort is eating me alive.
I think there’s something distinctly human about being put in challenging circumstances and having to persevere.
For years, I was preserving. Literally driving around the country subsisting off of no more than a few bucks a day and helping people get their lives back in order. Or before that, when I was pushing myself through 2–3 jobs while being a full-time student.
So there’s a moment, I think, and I’m sure it happens to all of us when you sit down and realize you don’t thrive being this comfortable. Everything that one was new is now old and boring.
Friends have become frustrating. The same routine starts to feel like it’s as stale as the coffee I drink at the same coffee shop in the same part of town as the same gym and yadda, yadda, yadda.
And then thoughts of a big change come and my stomach churns. I get that interview in a far off place and start noticing all the comforts that I have. The access to food and the way my friends actually seem to care. The family I love and adore and would maybe feel like death to leave.
It feels like a trap. Which, yeah, it’s in my head. So I’m trying to work on that. But right now, it feels like I’ve hit the breaks.
I’m just not sure where the to peddle is.
—
Originally Published on BeYourself
Photo by Ty Williams on Unsplash
