When we hear the word “relationship”, it’s normal to think of relationships with human beings, and particularly one’s relationship with our significant other. However, as a conscious business coach, I view everything from the perspective of energy and, more particularly, relationship energy. We live in a relational universe, meaning we understand our selves through our relationships with others. However, these “others” aren’t just humans but include pets, nature (e.g. seasons), business (e.g. money), the solar system (e.g. time, calendars) and others.
Our relationship with money is one of the most important relationships in our life, particularly now that we are increasingly living in cities, so are losing the ability to provide for ourselves from the land. According to the 2014 revision of the World Urbanization Prospects by UN DESA’s Population Division, more than 54% of the global population currently lives in cities, which they project to increase to 66% by 2050.
With increasing industrialization, what was originally created as a means of exchange to facilitate commerce, has become essential to the very survival of city dwellers. This has given money the power to trigger our survival-related fears, should we let it. Couple this with the rise of consumerism, credit cards, and advertising’s lure to live beyond our means, and it is little wonder that 62% of Americans reported experiencing money stress in a November 2017 report from the American Psychological Association.
There are 3 main reasons for experiencing money stress:
- Allowing fear of not belonging to control our buying behavior
- Using spending on consumer goods to mask low self-esteem
- Allowing survival-related fears to paralyze us and stop us taking remedial action
The first two of these lead to needless spending on impermanent objects that quickly and inevitably lose their ability to satisfy us, creating an insatiable cycle of spending, dissatisfaction, and maxed out credit cards. The third reason prevents us from taking the actions we need to change our self-sabotaging patterns, so our patterns continue until life intervenes in the form of judgments, bankruptcy, and resulting guilt, shame, and public humiliation.
Shortly, I will share some information about fear that will help you see it for what it really is, take back the power you have given it, and start taking the actions needed to repair your relationship with money.
So what exactly is fear, and why do we experience it?
Like all of our emotions, fear is a primal program we experience through our DNA to protect us as individuals and as a species from physical harm. It is part of our “fight, flight or freeze” reaction to what our brain considers threatening, which can include beings and situations our ancestors felt threatened by, or simply what is unfamiliar, and untrusted, by it. It is, therefore, natural to experience this reaction when dealing with new experiences. Our brain is primarily programmed for survival not for thriving, so we will usually feel fear when offered an unfamiliar, yet perfectly useful, solution to whatever problem we may be facing.
At our coaching businesses we see this regularly as potential clients with financial challenges consider investing with us to transform the mental and emotional patterns that are causing these challenges, which create such misery and prevent them from living joyful and prosperous lives. For these people, and anyone with a major decision to make, it’s important to consider the following three points:
- You create your results, and for them to change, you need to change.
- Fear can be good for toddlers, but adults need to use their heads and hearts for guidance.
- Your heart is your wisest advisor, as it’s guided by your soul which knows exactly what is best for you.
Your heart has wise answers to all of your questions, which it will deliver in the ways most likely to get your attention, often through synchronicity that is too unlikely to be random. As the body’s conduit for soul guidance, it knows everything about you and will be delighted to help you repair your relationship with money, as well as with increasing your income should you wish.
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