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In this guide, I’ll reveal to you my foolproof approach that lets me ask out girls almost anywhere and secure the date.
Read it, and you’ll soon be setting up dates with women you’ve met in a dozen different places too.
But let’s start here:
At last, you’ve nabbed your crush’s contact info, and man does it feel great. You head home on Cloud 9, a real sense of accomplishment under your belt.
It wasn’t easy finally making the plunge, but you did it.
You’ve got her digits (or her social).
So, now that you’ve done that… what are you going to do next?
If you really like her, you should already be planning for a date. You’ll want one where you can have this girl near to you as you and her talk. You’ll get to enjoy her smiles and excitement as she engages with your conversation.
Or you might even be happy just to hold her hand during a stroll through the park.
However, this is where the most common snags appear. That’s because many guys have no clue how to ask a girl out, and when you’re trying to stumble your way through dating in the dark, it can get downright painful.
It might well be you know what you want (i.e., a date with that cute girl you walk by at the park each day), but you don’t know how to go about it. You might just need a little help.
Well, you’re in the right place. Because today, I’ll reveal to you the five (5) most crucial steps to asking a girl out right and getting a definite yes.
The idea is not only to get her excited to go out with you, but to show her you can make her smile, too.
Continue reading and I’ll teach you how to do this.
Step 1: Starting the Conversation
The most important and challenging step in asking someone out.
It never feels easy to find the right lines to kick off conversation, taking it in the desired direction.
Many of us hate small talk.
“What’s a typical day for you like?” “Where do you live?” “How often do you visit this place?” These are some of those dreaded small talk questions.
People dislike them so much that they will try to avoid the conversation altogether. They just don’t want to deal with such questions.
It’s ironic that even though we hate it, small talk is often where we find ourselves. It is like the mind closes itself up to everything else, leaving only what we all know.
These questions are obvious, and they lead to definite answers. It’s like asking: “Would you jump into the fire if all your friends were doing it?” The answer is a simple yes or no.
Many girls will switch off immediately when you start a conversation in this manner. They assume you have nothing better to tell them. These questions are to be avoided.
Instead, give them something that’ll open their mind. There are many ways to start a conversation with a girl and keep her interested all the way, making it easier to ask her out.
Ask her for advice. Think of something you know she knows well and ask her for advice about it. For instance, “Should I sign up for this gym?” Or, “Which coffee do you think I should get – a Latte or an Americano?”
Be playful and thoughtful. If you are meeting at a coffee shop, it is ok to assume that you both know and love coffee, but don’t assume too much. Perhaps she is just taking a rest or waiting for a friend.
Ask her for a small favor. Something as polite as, “Could you hold my jacket for a minute as I grab my coffee” could get you into the best conversation.
Also, remember to make your stand. Go in with a made-up mind about what you are going to do. But don’t overdo it. It isn’t nice approaching her without some restraint.
Most importantly, just start talking. You are both not sure about each other. So, take the first step and start talking. It’s worse if you keep silent.
Step 2: Find a Common Point
Finding the confidence to ask someone out is never easy. As stated above, the easiest way to summon this confidence is to go in prepared.
You can call this a common diving board. After getting her into a conversation, your next goal should be to find out more about her.
While on it, you should learn the interests you both share. It could be a place, a topic, a hobby, or an activity. Such a starting point forms the perfect foundation for asking her out:
- This is when you bring up a topic you think brings up a common interest. Well, you might not get it straight away. Hence, you need to be careful and read her reactions.
- At this point, you are seeking to add emotion. You have the power to make it exciting, adventurous, silly, good, or anything else you want. You will then have to make a promise in this instance, making her feel more comfortable with you.
- Ask the question. This is a very simple step, as easy as “Are you free?” or “Would you like to accompany me?” Remember, you need to quote this common interest in the question.
A good example is “There is this concert coming up this Friday, and I’ve already bought two tickets. Would you like to come with me?”
Step 3: Texting, calling, or in-person?
The most important virtues to work on are building your confidence, learning how to talk to people, and gaining their trust. They all take time and practice to get right.
Asking someone out only takes a few seconds, and you get your answer. But then, how do you ask them? Through the phone or in-person?
Finding the right means of communication is crucial to your success. Pick a method you are most comfortable with and the one you know she will have no issues with.
In-person is the best and perhaps most effective approach. It allows you to read her body language, feel her smiles, and everything else she may be emoting through her reactions. In-person fosters empathy and connection. One other big plus of in-person? It makes you look brave and seem confident.
The biggest downside to in-person is that she can read right through you. There’s no hiding your intentions when you’re with her.
Hence, using a text or calling could be more effective, especially if you get too nervous in a woman’s presence. If you are going to call, let her know in advance, perhaps by texting her first. This will up the odds she receives your call. And if you are going to text, try not to rely too much on it. Use texts mostly for spiking interest and making plans.
Whatever method you pick, be sure to understand how best to use it. You don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.
Step 4: Asking
It is important to come in prepared so that you don’t appear confused or indecisive. You are looking to get her to like you and already feel like the date will be great. This is the most important step, and hence, you need to be careful about how you do it.
There are several things you need to keep in mind here. Consider the following four:
- Be specific. If she senses any vagueness, it will make her nervous and possibly make her turn you down. If you ask her what she is doing this weekend, be sure to follow up with a date question, as if she would love to accompany you to a certain place on Friday. Also, include all the plans you may have in store. Perhaps you are planning to catch that concert later. Specific details like the place, the day, the time, and the activities are very crucial to getting you that date.
- Keep it safe. Always pick an activity that requires the least commitment from both of you. Think of a dinner, coffee, lunch, or something like that. Movies may not be a good idea because they stop you from getting to know each other (unless you see the movie after another getting-to-know-you activity).
- Be open-minded. Flexibility is a vital tool when asking a girl out on a date. Accept it if she says ‘no’ because she has something else to do. She may well make another suggestion (great news for you!).
- Be cool and casual. Do not be too rigid and serious. You are only trying to ask her out and not trying to sell her something.
Step 5: Be Prepared for any Outcome
It is good to be confident that she will agree to go out with you. But you don’t want to be overly confident.
Therefore, be ready for any reaction. Rejection will not kill you. Don’t try too hard to be perfect. Some of the reasons women reject requests won’t even be personal.
On the same note, make sure you make good plans for the date if she says yes. Taking her to a place you know she will love gives you better chances of a great date, and really getting her to like you.
Most importantly: practice, practice, and practice. You will never see professional athletes sitting around waiting for the game. Likewise, your dating success goes up when you, too, ask out girls and go on dates.
Well, good luck! I hope this guide marks the start of a fruitful and practical dating life for you.
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This content is brought to you by Kijan Pole.
Photo: Shutterstock
