—
If the fights have been endlessly exhausting, the communication gap is ever-widening, the sex is nonexistent and you feel anxious about your relationship the moment you wake up, you need to think about how to fix a toxic relationship that is clearly taking a toll on you.
There could be many reasons why your relationship is turning sour and toxic. In the beginning, it was all flowers, movie nights at your house, cute gifts, and over-the-top romantic gestures. But now, he barely ever texts you back when you need him, you two are blame-shifting all the time and the temper tantrums are a daily affair.
Perhaps one major argument has set things off so badly that now you two barely get along anymore. Or it could be that you both have been feeling distant and are refusing to talk about the insecurity and jealousy that is creeping inside you which is making you lash out. It could also be that your partner is individually going through a difficult time which is sort of making them toxic in a relationship and you might be feeling helpless because of the same.
Fixing A Toxic Relationship
Figuring out the signs of a toxic relationship and understanding what’s making your relationship so murky is one thing. But how to fix a toxic relationship is a separate challenge on it’s own. When you both are either too afraid or too angry to talk to each other, conflict resolution becomes really difficult.
You’re probably confused about how to approach them and finding the right words to say. If you’re angry, you’re probably worried that the moment you bring up a problem, the two of you will just start fighting like cats and dogs.
First of all, breathe. If you are still confident of being in love with this person, then you should try fixing a toxic relationship – one last time to ensure that you did your best in working things out. Let us show you how.
1. Try to forgive each other
Whatever fights have ensued, whatever abusive words have been hurled – if you really want to make things work, you have to be ready to forget it all. The two of you need to sit down and discuss the same. Before you decide how to go about your way forward, all the past pain and grudges need to vanish completely.
The more you hold onto the unhappiness, the more it will come up later. The very first thing you need to do is cleanse the relationship of all the dirt that has built up on it. Only then you can remind yourself of the person you fell in love with.
2. Cut the drama
This includes the problematic display of jealousy, of lying, of emotional blackmailing, gaslighting, and treating the other person badly because you cannot cope with your own feelings. You have to know that only when you let go of these tendencies, can you actually take a step forward about how to make the relationship better.
So when you told them, ‘Stop uploading pictures with Stacey on Instagram, it drives me nuts, well it is finally time to let that go. All the unnecessary drama that you give each other needs to go down the drain immediately.
3. Stop keeping score
If you are really serious about how to fix a toxic relationship, you have to put your ego aside and stop blaming each other for every little thing. Bringing up the time you saw her flirting with Arnold by the dining table at a house party is not something you can keep bringing up in fights to make her feel smaller.
This will only turn into a back and forth of ‘You did this’ and ‘You did that’ and that is the opposite of constructive. Because the next time she sees you liking the picture of an old flame online, the fight will only blow up and you two will keep throwing things at each other from the past.
4. Lay out the issues
The root cause no matter what has made your relationship turn toxic, is a lack of vulnerability. If you see all the signs of a toxic relationship, know that it is not just because of being tired by your busy schedules or angry outbursts. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding that is destroying your relationship. And that is because you two haven’t been vulnerable or honest about what is really making you this way.
You need to sit them down and find a way to just talk. Try not to let the conversation meander back to the petty issues you’ve been grouching about. Get to the root of the problem. What is really making you or them toxic in a relationship? Is it insecurity, feelings of hopelessness, feeling undervalued or plain boredom?
5. Consider relationship counseling
If you’ve had somewhat of a healthy conversation around what the root problem is and how to fix a toxic relationship, it might be time to go on step ahead and consider taking the help of a professional. If such begrudging behavior is a result of internal issues that one is unable to navigate, therapy can do wonders in helping one introspect.
If one’s needs are being unfulfilled in a relationship but they are unable to put the same across, a therapist can guide you on how to be a better partner in a relationship not just for the one you love but also for yourself.
Every relationship has its highs and lows. But if you are committed to working towards creating happiness in your relationship, there is no stopping you.
—
