There is a great deal of stress associated with dating, particularly for men. Since men initiate 80% of the dates they go on, they risk being stood up, turned down and outright rejected by women. This, in turn, can lead to dating anxiety.
If you are someone that is suffering from dating anxiety there is hope. In the initial stages of dating, anxiety is quite normal. You’re worried if she’ll like you, whether you’ll make a good impression or if she’ll ever want to see you again. On the flip side if you’re suffering from abnormal dating anxieties, such as avoiding meeting someone new, sabotaging, or risky dating behaviors, then here are a few things that can help:
Build Up Your Confidence
The best way of getting rid of dating anxiety is to build up your confidence before you start asking women out on dates. This doesn’t mean that you should behave like a total a**hole. On the contrary, you should be a gentleman. At the same time, you also want to show her that you know who you are, what you want and, that you are prepared to do what it takes to get it.
Be A Good Conversationalist
The next thing you can do to get rid of dating anxiety is to learn to be a better conversationalist. You can practice the art of conversation in an acting class, with a dating coach or by watching the way other couples engage with one another. Sometimes the best way to learn something new is through modeling it. So, next time you’re out with your friends that are in a relationship, watch how they engage with one another. There are also plenty of books on the market that will teach you how to build rapport with other people. Rapport is what you will need in order to establish a connection. And, once you’ve established rapport, you will instantly boost your dating confidence.
Focus On What You Want
The last thing you can do to get rid of dating anxiety is to focus on what you want. If you don’t know what you want in a woman, you will get a lot of women that you don’t want. This, in turn, can lead to rejection or risky dating behaviors, i.e., having sex with a woman whose name you cannot remember the next day. Now, for some guys, the idea of having sex with random women sounds fun, perhaps even cool. However, if you cannot connect with a woman without sex, then you will have a hard time being in a committed relationship with a woman that loves and respects you for who you are. Over time this kind of behavior will lead to a low self-esteem and dating anxiety.
To conclude, if you’ve been thinking about meeting someone new, but are suffering from dating anxiety, you do not have to go it alone. There is plenty of help out there from dating experts and professionals that are more than capable of helping you amp up your dating game. The key is to build up your confidence, focus on your strength and learn how to be a champion at communication. Communication is one of the 6 C’s to healthy dating and healthy relationships.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Hi Collette, I think your article makes some great points and gives some excellent advice. The only area in which I take some issue is in the statement regarding “abnormal anxiety.” I don’t believe that most anxiety, particularly that described is abnormal. Anxiety has many faces and ways in which it manifiests. Certainly the bulk of dating anxiety you describe is very real… and it’s important that you show others so that they realize it is a normal rather than abnormal reaction to the stresses of dating. I believe it’s very important for everyone to understand that the emotions they… Read more »