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There’s no rulebook to follow for senior dating. Plus, if you’ve been out of the game for years like me, you forget what it’s like to sit down for dinner with someone you don’t know. But that’s part of the fun of dating. Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or ready to find a partner, here are some things I learned while dating as an older man that will hopefully help you out during your dating experience.
Make the choice to date on your own
After my wife left me, my children were pushing me to try online dating, and I caved from the pressure. But going on dates with people who are ready to be with someone isn’t fair to you or them. I was still emotionally processing the divorce, and every date was a reminder of my ex-wife. I decided to give myself a break from dating and focus on emotionally processing my divorce. Eventually, after some time, I felt ready to date. That’s when I started to really enjoy going on dates and meeting new people.
Know what you want
You don’t need to know exactly what you’re looking for, but you need to have some idea. Dating as a senior is different than when you’re a young adult. As an older man, I know who I am; I’ve figured myself out. When you’re dating as a senior, your priorities and needs are fixed. You’re not interested in playing games; you want to find a partner. That’s one of the things I really enjoy about dating as a senior; things are more straightforward.
Age is really just a number
I’ve met women younger than me who act twice my age and vice versa. After going on a couple of dates with different women, I realized that age is really just a number. Your goal shouldn’t be trying to meet someone who’s twenty years younger than you. By focusing on age, you’re missing out on your potential partner. If a person makes you feel alive and fulfilled, then it doesn’t matter what their age is.
Everyone has baggage
When I was young, I wanted a partner who didn’t have any baggage. But now, I’ve come to realize that everyone has baggage. At my age, it’s impossible to meet someone who hasn’t gone through a couple of failed relationships or other personal issues. And even though we’re all trying to avoid it, our past experiences is what can connect us with a potential partner. Some of the best dates I’ve been on are the ones where I felt understood by my date.
Your date is just as nervous as you are
I was a nervous wreck on my first date after my divorce. I didn’t know what to say; I was constantly thinking of the next question to ask; it wasn’t a pretty sight. But a couple of dates in, once my nerves settled, I realized that my dates were just as nervous as me. Dating after being years out of the game is an intimidating experience. But what’s important to remember is that your date is in the same spot as you are.
People want to find a partner
We’re not getting any younger, but that doesn’t mean we’re looking for someone to take care of us. Many of the women I dated were full of hobbies, and ambitions; they weren’t looking to be a caregiver. And most of them would tell me this right away. Seniors who enter the dating world as often scared of becoming a caregiver rather than a partner. Before dating, you need to understand the difference and know what you’re looking for.
No one said dating would be easy, especially as a senior. But I’ve had a lot of fun meeting new people and learning about myself and who I want as a partner. Hopefully, my experiences will help you succeed in dating.
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This content is sponsored by Stefan Simonovic.
Photo: Shutterstock