
I keep working without satisfaction because what I do never reaches the objective.
Jake thought he possessed all the qualities needed to be an ideal partner. Every Friday he brought fresh flowers as his routine while he kept all bills up-to-date while declaring Emily’s beauty through daily praises.
She looked at him with eye-glassed vision one night before uttering these words.
“I don’t feel loved anymore.”
He froze.
The question remained in his mind about his remaining options.
His Language was the problem not his love
Through his positive statements and helpful deeds Jake expressed his love in the manner of Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.
But Emily? Hers was Physical Touch and Quality Time.
She didn’t want roses. She desired to feel his entire body wrapped protectively around her. Instead of recognition she required his time with her.
Jake wasn’t a bad partner.
He used a way of expressing his love that wasn’t compatible with his partners.
5 Love Languages
The author Dr. Gary Chapman promoted five fundamental methods which demonstrate love expression between people.
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Every person possesses a main preference between two love languages. The key? Learning the way your partner desires affection instead of relying on your preferred method.
This article explores the five love languages by applying real examples to the concepts.
1. Words of Affirmation
It flattens pressure situations for these individuals by expressing simple statements like “I love you.” “I appreciate you.” “You matter to me.”
Certain individuals use words as legitimate touchpoints instead of empty breath.
Her friend Jenna advised her about this condition when she said that words serve as her main marker of relationship sincerity.
Emotionally I will only feel validated when my partner expresses the words of love because showing emotions alone is insufficient for me.
Speak it fluently:
Leave sticky notes.
Say what you feel, often.
Compliment with intention.
Avoid: silence. They cut deep for this type.
2. Acts of Service
“You can relax because I will assist you” and “I’ll carry out these duties to give you time for relaxation.”
Jake’s love language. Before she noticed anything amiss, he would repair damaged objects and prepare meals while taking care of the housework during her stressful periods.
Emily confessed that she recognizes the efforts yet they do not stir any emotional response.
Speak it fluently:
Make their life easier.
Make note of what causes their exhaustion and intervene at that point.
Stay away from forgetting responsibilities and broken promises as well as laziness.
3. Receiving Gifts
The object spoke to me because you came to mind.
This isn’t materialistic. People interpret gifts as expressions of caring thought and personal attendance. Price serves no meaning here because gifts convey their significance.
Mia the younger sister of Jake preserved each love note which her boyfriend continued to give to her. She kept the stone that they collected on their very first hike among other items on her shelf.
Speak it fluently:
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad freeSmall, meaningful surprises.
Celebrate milestones.
Letters written by hand combined with beloved snacks and unexpected items that come with no reason attached.
The practice of overlooking birthdays and giving purposeless presents should be avoided.
4. Quality Time
“I want your attention. Not your presence — your presence.”
Emily’s second language. The time she required was brief concentrated moments instead of numerous hours.
Adam often checked his phone when she tried to communicate with him. Her emotions suffered bitter disappointment from that incident.
Speak it fluently:
Put the phone away.
Plan one-on-one time.
You should stay focused and remove any distractions or multitasking or avoid missing allocated connection times together.
5. Physical Touch
“Hold me. Touch me. Let me feel your love.”
Among all expressions of love this language requires complete physical contact between two people.
A hug. A hand on the back. Fingers brushed across hair.
A touch from you becomes the remedy that quiets her anxious thoughts according to Emily.
Speak it fluently:
Hug them often.
Hold hands.
You should lean into them while physical touch replaces spoken words which have run out.
Avoid: coldness, long physical distance, or lack of affection.
How They Turned It Around
Jake took a quiz. Emily did too.
On Sundays they began performing the new routine of checking in with each other.
The most important question for improvement during the upcoming week is “What’s one thing I can do better next week?”
As time went by Jake began to take small steps toward closeness with his partner while they shared Netflix screens. He held her hand in public. The laptop screen shut for her anytime she engaged in conversation with him.
Emily? She began expressing gratitude for his laundry duty and noticing his cooking and writing notes to show her pride in him.
The people inside them remained constant throughout this transformation.
And everything changed.
Love Requires A Language But You Have The Ability To Learn It Through Deliberate Effort
Falling in love is instinct.
Staying in love?
That’s intentional.
Giving represents only one aspect of true love. The essence of love lies in offering care according to their personal reception style.
The truth?
The language barrier exists only in human understanding thus they require their custom dialect for relationship messages.
Thank you for reading on this love post. For more such posts follow my newsletter.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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