Do things regularly go wrong in your life?
You might regularly experience:
• Unexpected developments that throw a wrench in your plans
• Harsh criticism that makes you want to defend yourself
• People you work with acting out of line
• Loved ones guilt-tripping you into doing something you don’t want
• Things generally going wrong in your life and work
All these problems (and more) are part and parcel of a man’s life these days. And while there definitely are some things in life we can’t control, there IS one thing that can be completely under our control – and by itself, this one thing can spell the difference between success and failure, strong relationships and broken ones, satisfaction and frustration, and more.
What’s this one thing? It’s how we react when things go wrong.
And this article will teach you the 5 best ways to stay strong when things go wrong.
Why Reacting to Problems Can Be a Problem in Itself
When an unexpected problem falls on your lap, how do you react?
• Do you get angry at the interruption?
• Do you try to find what/who is to blame for the problem?
• Do you get depressed and contemplate just giving up?
• Do you get motivated to work even harder?
Here’s the thing: It doesn’t really matter how you react to a problem, because the mere act of “reacting” can be a problem in itself. “Reacting” to adversity is a sign of two weaknesses:
- You’re not sufficiently prepared to handle problems as they come; and
- You’re using your emotions to decide what to do next.
As a result, “reacting” to a problem has a high risk of actually making things worse – it affects your work, your relationships, and your long-term drive. You end up having to handle several more problems instead of just one. Not good!
So instead of emotionally reacting when things go wrong, keep these 5 tips in mind:
#1: Don’t Take Things Personally.
When something bad happens to you, it’s easy to take it personally – like it was a personal attack by someone. Don’t look at problems that way, because it tends to delay the finding of a solution… and in effect, it delays the achievement of your goals in life.
So don’t take things personally. In fact, even if it WERE a personal attack, don’t take it personally – it’s simply not worth the negative impact on your goals.
If you offended or hurt someone, then apologize – then take a deep breath, refocus your attention and energy to your goals, and get right back to your work.
#2: Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.
Whenever you’re tasked with finding a compromise between conflicting interests… or whenever you’re forced to choose among less-than-perfect options… what should you do?
The answer is easy: Keep your eyes on the prize. Step back and ask yourself: What’s your “one big goal” in life and/or work? And which solution holds you back from that goal the least? Find it and choose it.
We need to keep the big picture in mind. When you’re forced to choose between two good options, it’s better to let go of the lesser good in favor of preserving/pursuing the greater good. When you have clear goals, it’s clear to you what that “greater good” is.
#3: Solutions, Not Emotions.
When faced with problems, the average guy gets emotional, blames, complains, and tries to absolve himself of any guilt or responsibility.
Don’t be average. Don’t waste any of your time or energy blaming or complaining. Instead, focus on finding solutions!
Brainstorm three or four possible ways to solve the problem, find the one that will make the most impact on the problem with the least effort, execute it, and then track the results. Keep at it until you get the problem out of the way, then keep marching towards your goal.
#4: Understand That Nothing Lasts Forever.
As long as you’re actively working on a solution, your problem won’t last. So don’t worry if it burns or makes you uncomfortable along the way. Don’t lose hope or give up. It won’t last forever!
But likewise, good times won’t last forever, either. So while times are good, don’t get complacent – capitalize while you can, and put yourself in a position where you’ll be better able to handle problems as they come.
And lastly:
#5: Remember the Importance of Adversity.
Remember that you, as a man, do not grow when times are good and comfortable. Instead, we grow in times of challenge and adversity. And while long-term stress is a bad thing, short-term stress is a VERY good thing.
So when things go wrong, stay strong by keeping these five tips in mind.
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Photo: Getty Images