What’s better than a gun, tank, or bomb? The answer: pens, homes, and playground equipment.
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I prefer a pen—a whole drawer of them, actually—than a gun or even a sword. And rather than bullets give me ink (but Google Docs and WordPress will do).
While we’re at it, let’s solve the problem of housing, playground equipment, and nifty jewelry (as if there’s a lack of jewelry).
The tragedy and massacre in Orlando has the nation once again paying attention to the difference between an AR-15 and a Sig Sauer assault weapon, as if it matters to a do-nothing Congress who serve at the bidding of the NRA.
So in the meantime, I’d like to share my dream of a world without weapons or the need for weapons. And my wishlist goes beyond plowshares and pruninghooks of the Old Testament and anti-war folk singers.
“…and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.”
Isaiah 2.4/Micah 4.3
Chess Boards
What’s cooler than a rook and knight made out of steel from guns and bullets that used to be used to take over real kingdoms? A chess board made of repurposed steel, iron, or copper, complete with pieces made to order—maybe I’ll have my pieces in the shapes of famous authors or nonviolent revolutionaries.
Let’s get all of America’s youth playing chess again—I’ll order enough sets for every school in our country, especially the ones affected by mass shootings or in high-gun-crime zones.
Jewelry and Pens
Fonderie 47 already has the market on this one. They “transforms tools of war into objects that inspire human imagination and action. Each piece is made from an AK47 and funds programs to remove such weapons from circulation. We have destroyed over fifty thousand AK47s and other assault rifles in Africa.”
I’ll take as many .5 rolling ball pens as I can get, as well as new wedding bands. I’d also love a desk organizer and pen case if that’s possible.
Houses, Campers, and Studio Apartments
Want to solve the housing crisis? Easy! Repurpose war planes, tanks, and aircraft carriers into houses for those who can’t afford “the rent is too damn high” real estate prices. When I was living with nine other roommates in college, I definitely would have loved living in a repurposed tank on land or sea—who wouldn’t? And with all that metal, imagine the possibilities for bunk beds and sleepers.
Metal Fabrication Classes for All!
Imagine a world where everyone had the chance to learn metal fabrication—complete with shops at the high school and Trade Union level. We’d have a whole new job market for inventors, creators, and scrap metal miners.
That’s metal fabulous!
Bridges, Guardrails, and Road Material
Done. This highway “brought to you by the former Lords of War and the Machines of Death.” While we’re at it, we can work on those solar walkways, solar signs, and solar roads that might just save us from the next energy crisis as well.
Playground Equipment and Bikes
What’s cooler than playing on a tank? Playing on a fighter jet or aircraft carrier. And imagine the slides we could build with all that steel! I envision every school and park in America built to perfection with repurposed weapons of mass (and less mass) destruction.
And every kid needs a bike. Kids (and Dads) need bikes more than they need bullets, rifles, or drones.
Yes, Golf Clubs (we guess)
For half of the dads out there, we know you love your golf clubs, so here it is, your 9-iron made with the material that used to be a rifle or a driver made with repurposed iron and steel that was once a handgun.
Imagine all those gangs, armies, and lone-wolf assassins and terrorists without their precious bullet-spewing metal.
Maybe they’ll take up golf, writing, or house-building instead of decimation by assualt weapon.
A boy and dad can dream, can’t we?
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And your own below!
Photo: Dean Hochman/Flickr
Read Jeremy McKeen’s Bergamot Ink column every week here on The Good Men Project!
And thank you for sharing this!
much less insulted.
If this wasn’t intended to be a tongue in cheek, then I’m highly disappointed.