Chris Cornell died.
Let me say that again, so it sinks in. Chris Cornell DIED.
Yeah.
Like a punch in the gut. I’m still processing, and there are a lot of emotions happening. Soundgarden had such a huge impact on me as a teenager in the early 90s; I don’t even know where to start. I was lucky enough to turn 13 in 1990, right when shit was getting good musically again.
Hair metal and new wave stuff was everywhere, but in 1991, the edge came back, and it got real. I know the sound that would eventually be called Grunge music had been around well before Smells Like Teen Spirit was released, bands like Mudhoney had been Seattle staples for years, but for a 13-year-old girl in Georgia, 1991 was when it started.
That was my introduction to something real and true and visceral.
And Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger was right there in the thick of it. One of the first CDs I ever owned, it was on a constant shuffle with Ten and Smells Like Teen Spirit, my New Kids On The Block poster torn down, shredded and forgotten, replaced by my angst.
Chris in his last concert, just hours before his death.
As one of the younger members of Gen X, I’m trying to brace myself, get my head ready, for the fact that all the people who made all the music I loved and that shaped me will be leaving us soon. It started already with Bowie and Prince, Leonard Cohen, but those were a little more removed for people my age. My music began in 1991, and my icons wore flannel and smashed guitars, and we’re all getting old now.
I was too young to realize how important it was when Kurt Cobain died.
I knew, in theory, that Nirvana ushered in a revolution, but I was a teenager, and my scope was limited. Now, at 40, I feel it in my bones, in my guts. I listen to Soundgarden and Chris Cornell’s voice is literally the voice of my generation. Literally. Now he’s gone too, and it looks like it was intentional.
The news that his death is being investigated as a suicide, coupled with the fact that the encore played at his last show was a cover of Zeppelin’s “In My Time Of Dying” is another gut punch. After a battle with addiction and a few years of sobriety, his apparent suicide comes as a shock to his fans. We have to remember to recognize not only his contributions, but also his demons and his struggles.
In my time of dying, I want nobody to mourn
All I want for you to do is take my body home
– “In My Time Of Dying” by Led Zeppelin
With age comes perspective and I know now what an amazing time the early 90s were. In 1991, kids knew the music was edgy and badass, a grateful departure from Guns n Roses and The Cure. Stripped down and real, we didn’t realize until later that the Seattle scene changed not just music but an entire generation of people who were looking for someone else who was just as pissed and angsty as they were. We found that in the soaring notes of Chris Cornell’s voice and the emotional grumble of Eddie Vedder.
Soundgarden was part of something bigger, something that changed everything.
Things would never be the same musically or culturally after 1991. They changed the world and they changed music and they changed me. And I am forever grateful.
Rest in Peace Chris.
Editor’s Note: Since publishing this article, the cause of Chris Cornell’s death has been confirmed as suicide.
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This story by Kristi Pahr originally appeared on Ravishly, a feminist news+culture website. Follow us on Twitter & Facebook and check out these related stories:
Photo credit: Getty Images
This is a great article. It describes perfectly the “gut punch” I too felt when I heard Chris had passed. Another article I read describes how the author felt like yet another chunk of the “soundtrack of his youth” had been erased. While we will never truly know what happened that night, after being sober for years, Chris went out on stage high on 5/17, and the signs of distress were clearly there. His condition during his last show was enough to warrant someone in his circle calling a paramedic immediately, or even cancelling the show. His sound guy supposedly… Read more »
Great article? Not really…
Chris has sung snippets of Led Zep’s in my time of dying quite a few times so I wouldn’t necessarily read much into that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd_cyJEPGaE
A departure from The Cure? They were a huge influence on Soundgarden. Joy Division was as well. Surely if you are 40 years old, you must realize that The Cure was an influence and actually still relevant in 1991. They had just released Disintegration two years prior. Do your research dear….
Joy Division perhaps a bigger influence than we imagine… Ian Curtis hung himself as well, May 18, 1980. Cornell… May 18, 2017. Coincidence?
Soundgarden didn’t cover Led Zeppelin’s “In My Time of Dying”. They simply performed a musical refrain of that song in the middle of their own song “Slaves and Bulldozers”, which they also did when I saw them in Atlanta on May 3rd. They’ve been doing that for several years. So I wouldn’t really consider that a gut punch. The true gut punch is learning Chris Cornell was prescribed Ativan, which is something he should’ve never been exposed to according to Dr. Drew from Loveline (his doctor should have his or her license revoked). That, and, hanging himself immediately following a… Read more »
Yessss exactly except the old part. I too am the age of Chris Cornell. I am not old. You are right about all the rest. Trust and believe I was rocking with Chris and SoundGarden and Audioslave and Pearl Jam, at my advanced age. Y’all don’t have a lock on angst. Me and the other people my age were his exact age and We were and are STILL anxious and uncertain of WTF else is gonna pop off. It will be worse with no Chris, no Audioslave, no Alice In Chains and Layne……. you get it but buckle up honey… Read more »
Well said, yay!!!
I’m 48 and mourned the loss of all of the “grunge” lead singers. This one hurts the most, probably because it was so surprising and he had been clean for several years. Since his death, I’ve listened to the solo albums that I had not heard. I love all of them now, particularly Scream, and so wish he knew how much his music has meant to so many people. I feel so sad for his family. I can’t imagine how they process this, especially since they don’t know what his thought process was at the time. I don’t know if… Read more »
You contradict yourself “I am not old” (at 52) but then say “your 40’s suck the life out of your body…” What’s the real deal, hun? Chill out, 80 yr olds would love to be your age.