“It’s ok for me to show my emotions and cry. There is nothing wrong with showing your soft side. We all are human and these feelings are completely normal. It is not wrong for men to cry at all! In fact, I would say it is vital for men to cry, to let their emotions out and share their feelings with others. There are cultures where men are not supposed to cry or at least hide their weaknesses; it’s better if they seem more controlled and emotionally numb. People think if we cry we’re linked to weakness since we can’t take control over our emotions. We hear phrases like, “Don’t be a pussy”, “Stop being a girl” a lot. If we keep hearing phrases like these, what do boys all around the world think about being boys today? Whom will they look up to, and how will they navigate the transition from being boys to become men?”
To Be A Man is a portrait series challenging the concept of toxic masculinity
The rise of women’s movements such as the #MeToo campaign and increasing awareness of mental health issues specific to men has highlighted the prevalence of toxic masculinity all over the world.
Toxic masculinity refers to the socially constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth. It restricts the kinds of emotions and characteristics that are socially acceptable for boys and men to express. Toxic masculinity has become the standard upon which a “real man” is defined but also how one’s masculinity can be challenged (The Good Men Project).
These qualities are socially imposed on men from early stages in life and our culture doesn’t always allow them to express inner struggles without judgment. Therefore, boys grow up with the pressure to embody what society believes is ‘normal’. That said, failure to embrace these ‘manly’ qualities often renders harsh consequences, not only for men themselves but those around them. For example, it may have a negative impact on their own mental health, possibly leading to depression, substance abuse, and suicide as well as aggressiveness, objectification, and violence towards not only women but other men as well, homophobic and transphobic sentiments and so on.
This topic is no more relevant today than it has been in the past; the only difference is that now it is being discussed more openly. My intent with this photo series is not to create anti-male sentiments or attack masculinity but show that it’s so important to speak up and fight stigma. Men too face a great deal of pressure to measure up to expectations created by a system that has long catered towards patriarchy.
I by no means claim to be an expert on this subject. However, I wanted to create a diverse collective of men who believe it’s okay to possess and express the qualities and characteristics that they are told they shouldn’t. I hope that these ideas will spread and reach the men who are struggling to accept that things like emotional vulnerability and compassion are strengths and not weaknesses. I know many men are already acting as incredible role models and that should be celebrated. I believe men should hold each other accountable. It is the words and voices of men alone that will influence and encourage other young men to think about their actions and reject the toxic masculinity that they may be surrounded by.
Originally published on Jessica Amity.com. Reprinted with permission of the author.
Photo courtesy of the author.