Fag:
Teenagers nationwide (and Vince Vaughan) pepper their conversations with “that’s so gay,” much to the consternation of those of us that would rather not propagate the equation of “gay” with “sucky.” Although “gay” might be more damaging in the long run, “fag” and “faggot” are the vitriolic versions of the orientation epithets. Much like “pussy,” “gay” and “fag” are leveled at straight men to question their virility. Instead of jeopardizing the manliness of the accused, these insults only cast suspicion on the intelligence of the speaker.
Etymology & History: The origins of the word are mysteriously unknown, partially due to etymological studies’ refusal to investigate deviant concepts until relatively recently. The transition from “bundle of sticks” to “homosexual” is unknown, but theories abound. Some suggest that the arrival of the Yiddish word “fegele” (meaning “gay” or “little bird”) may have helped the evolution along. The first printed reference linking “fag” with “homosexual” was in a 1914 dictionary of slang. There has been some effort by gay communities to reclaim “fag”: for example, Will of Will and Grace referring to Jack as the “Notorious F.A.G.”
Fags in the News: A lot of really amazing, accomplished gay men have suffered the “fag” epithet (if not worse) for decades. In 1995, House Majority Leader Dick Armey referred to gay Congressman Barney Frank as “Barney Fag.” When Armey claimed it was a slip of the tongue, Frank responded doubtfully, “I turned to my own expert, my mother, who reports that in 59 years of marriage, no one ever introduced her as Elsie Fag.” In 2006, actor Isaiah Washington reportedly lost his spot on Grey’s Anatomy after calling co-star T.R. Knight a faggot. Straight men aren’t immune from sexual-orientation harassment either: as late as 2006, Ann Coulter called Al Gore a “total fag” on MSNBC. NFL player Scott Fujita was called a fag for his vocal support of gay marriage.
Fags on Screen: Sal Romano (Mad Men), Chris Keller (Oz), Omar Little (The Wire),
Famous Fag Quotes:
“The condition that is now called gay was then called queer. The operative word was faggot and, later, pussy, but those epithets really had nothing to do with the question of sexual preference: You were being told simply that you had no balls.” (James Baldwin)
“You’re a hell of a good guy, and I’m fonder of you than anybody on earth. I couldn’t tell you that in New York. It’d mean I was a faggot.” (Bill Gorton, Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises)
“I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer. A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes; a guy who’s a fag is a queer.” (Archie Bunker, All in the Family)
Synonyms: Queer, Sissy, Fairy
Next: Pussy
I see this has popped back up again. I don’t let students use “offended” and “uncomfortable” either. The user feels entitled to close debate, or is manipulating using putative victimhood.
Creep, on the other hand, really is not gendered, I am frustrated that so many men assert so, and frankly it just seems like they’re butthurt when women turn down their sexual attention.
I’m a bit confused as to why ‘asshole’ became so often used for men, it doesn’t seem at all gendered in it’s etymology (an aggressive or conceited person) or origin (‘place where crap comes from’).
I’m also curious why you choose to accuse several people or characters of being ‘those words’ in the definition of each, wasn’t the point that using them was wrong?
I get called an ‘asshole’ and a ‘douchebag’ and I am proud of it.
Do you know why?
Because my confidence and charm has allowed me to be successful socioeconomically in the long term and I have rarely been unable to get a generally attractive woman to date me.
Thing is when you grow up in the ghetto you are either a tough guy or a victim.
I was trying to find the difference between a dick and an asshole.
I believe a dick is someone’s actions is intended to be mean to you when an asshole is someone more on a careless approach in a sense that if you happen to be a victim. Like an “oh well, ha ha” type of way.
I have to question some of the etymology in this article. “Creep” means to crawl or move silently. “Brothel creepers” were a type of thick-soled shoes popularized by “Teddy Boys” in the UK. They have nothing to do with stealing from brothels.
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No words used at men are ever as bad as those used for women: C-nt, Sl-t, Wh-re. Men need to educate themselves more on what it’s like to be a woman so they can understand just how truly difficult it is to navigate in a world where your privileges are only grudgingly given to you by men.
Thankfully, these guys have apologized to women everywhere. These men get it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw
No words used at men are ever as bad as those used for women: C-nt, Sl-t, Wh-re.
I’d really like to know how you came to this conclusion.
I have a personal rule that I only apologise for actions that I have taken. No man represents me save myself unless I explicitly declare such, I accept no responsibility for what any other man may do even if I am standing right beside him. I am sovereign, as is the man beside me. I consider apologies and promises such as you linked are shaming tactics, much like the White Ribbon Day promise.
I think it is telling that ratings are disabled for that particular video.
A lot of pedestalizing going on there. As well, one of the comments, interestingly, called it “creepy.”
@Erin: “No words used at men are ever as bad as those used for women: C-nt, Sl-t, Wh-re.”
Good try at playing the “Victim” card. 🙄
You’re just projecting your own issues. Playing the “We have it worst” is not going to win any understanding or sympathy for your cause.
When it’s about insults and demeaning, there’s no “winner” or “loser”: it’s bad for everyone involved.
A side note: when did comment moderation start, and why is it blocking terms used in the article?
We have always moderated comments based on keywords. We can’t change the moderation for the whole site based on one piece. So posts with certain terms are held for moderation. if those comments are appropriate/constructive, they will be approved. We have a commenting policy; you can access it through the “About” dropdown menu
This is a rather strange article. The first three insults — asshole, creep, and douchebag — get treated as acceptable while the last two — fag and pussy — get treated as unacceptable. If I understand correctly, it is fine to call men assholes, creeps, and douchebags because those insults are always leveled fairly. But it is not fine to call men fags and pussies because they insults another group. Odder still is the assertion that “women face the slut/bitch dichotomy based on perceptions of a very limited range of sexual propriety. For men, the categories are different, but the… Read more »
I’m not sure how deep into sociology you’re interested in, but I would be interested to see the difference in men across different cultures and different constructions of the ideal man. Personally for me, ideas of homosexuality in Latin America are completely different than they are here in the states, I suppose an especially important point considering the fact that we’re sex crazed catholics multiplying like, well catholics, and if anyone knows how to fuck up ideas of sexuality in young men, its catholics (child molesting is just the product of all the fucked up shit they guilt people into… Read more »
Hmmm. Is Brazil included in your definition of “Latin America”?
Yeah, I was curious about that too. Brazil is probably Latin (at least linguistically speaking since Portuguese is a Romance language) and is culturally obsessed with Brazilian jiu-jitsu, the Western martial art (alongside boxing and the varieties of wrestling) with the closet body contact between men. One of the first things guys have to overcome, in the sport, is their aversion, if they have one, to rolling around tightly entwined with other guys. Great sport for a lot reasons, in my opinion, and that’s one of them.
I think the word “creep” is thrown around far too liberally by some people. To some women, especially the younger ones, it seems that a “creep” is nowadays pretty much any man whom they don’t find attractive and who has shown an interest in them. There is really no female equivalent. Also, maybe I’m reading it wrong but this article seems to focus on insults from a sexual/sexualized point of view. There are some instances, though, when calling a man a ‘pussy’ has nothing to do with behavior towards women, it just implies that he is weak in some way.… Read more »
I don’t call a man a “creep” just because he approaches me and I’m not attracted to him. In fact, I dislike the word creep because I think it is often unfairly pejorative and used against well meaning guys who are just awkward. Awkwardness is not creepy. The issue is whether someone crosses the other person’s boundaries. In fact, I might initially be attracted to a guy, but get turned off by “creepy” behavior. A highly attractive and successful guy may still come across as creepy. I think it’s behavioral. For me, creepy behavior from a stranger (or acquaintance I… Read more »
Many of the lady slurs originate with and are perpetuated by women who want to keep the rate of sexual exchange down to add to their own value. Men do pick them up and use them too.
When insulting men as a man, you don’t want to use an insult that adds to the man’s power. So, no “asshole.” Even “douchebag” is problematic. That’s why, unfortunately, gay slurs work best, even though they’re way wrong ethically. Same for feminine imputation. “Bitch” is very effective.
No, just no. My experience of being called vile names has been uniformly from men. I’ve never had a women call me a bitch/ho/whore/dyke or anything. Never. Not once in 26 years.
Good try though.
To be fair, women don’t generally call each other names to their faces. When you’re out of earshot, though…
I’ve never called a woman such a thing.
Internet Rule of debating #1: One counter-example automatically nullifies any statement.
…or wait, no.
Good try though
Sho does!
This is a rather strange article. The first three insults — asshole, creep, and douchebag — get treated as acceptable while the last two — fag and pussy — get treated as unacceptable. If I understand correctly, it is fine to call men assholes, creeps, and douchebags because those insults are always leveled fairly. But it is not fine to call men fags and pussies because they insults another group. Odder still is the assertion that “women face the slut/bitch dichotomy based on perceptions of a very limited range of sexual propriety. For men, the categories are different, but the… Read more »
I noticed that too. Its amazing how under the “right” circumstances personal insults are suddenly okay. One thing I’ve noticed in television in the last year or so. Is it me or is it suddenly okay to call someone a dick on primetime tv but pussy is still bleeped out or just not said at all? There is definitely a certain hint of, “Its okay to make this insult but that one is off limits.” The article reads like an attempt to justify feminists insulting men, and it is rather curious that “pussy” got found objectionable considering how frequently feminists… Read more »
What’s interesting with these gender-specific insults is that you just can’t win: n o matter what you do, there’s an insult waiting for you. So if you’re a guy who’s opinionated, you’re an asshole (guilty as charged). If you don’t have an opinion, however, you’re a pussy. And where, exactly, is the line that tips you over from pussy to asshole? It doesn’t exist, or rather it’s a subjective decision in each person’s head. Women get the same thing, generally sex-activity based. So either they’re sluts and whores or bitches and ice-queens. Again, where’s the tipping point? Wherever it’s convenient… Read more »
What I find funny is I get called a ‘whore’ when I won’t sleep with a guy.
Funny that…
Makes no sense, huh?
Yeah, about as funny as a guy being called a ‘creep’ for working up the courage to approach a woman who doesn’t find him attractive.
@Sara: “What I find funny is I get called a ‘whore’ when I won’t sleep with a guy.”
Yep!
Him (the sayer) not noticing the contradiction, speaks volumes about his dumbness… 8)
OTOH, I find it even funnier when people uses “whore” (or the like) about a women enjoying sex a lot. 😯
I mean, I think prostitutes are – on average – the women enjoying sex the least: it’s a job, after all!
So, in the end any sexist insult is likely to be pretty dumb.
Most recently I’ve been called “an asshole, but a good asshole” and an “over-confident smartass with a lovely smile”.
I took them both as compliments.
Herein lies the problem with most gender-specific insults for both men and women: they’re just vague and generic, hence can’t really pack a punch. I mean, they kinda generally hint in a very broad direction as to what can be wrong with a person, but they’re ultimately not really fun if you’re at all a fan of the English language (or even being precise in your invective). Hell, at least “harridan” and “harpy” are kinda descriptive and call to mind a specific image. “Dick” and “pussy” can’t really call anything particularly strong to mind other than “hey, you’re kind of… Read more »
I am curious whether you employ the same policy when any student uses the words “dick” or “prick” in the pejorative or to insult another person. If not, why do you find it acceptable to allow students to demean the male sex, but not the female sex or homosexuals? And before you argue about any social stigmas, keep in mind that the association of the male body with something negative reinforces the accepted social notion the male form and males in general are inherently bad and unlikeable. As for your attempt at policing language, I know from experience that it… Read more »
Of course I challenge them. Any swearing in the classword is inappropriate. But given the environment I work in, use of words like “fag” and “homo” outweigh insults like “prick” and “dick” about 10 to 1. Firstly, they’re not words that have hugely caught on amongst the Australian teen set. Secondly, I’m working in an environment where homophobia is a huge problem. Of course it’s not the only thing in my arsenal I can use; I am well-supported by admin and the ministry team at my school to combat homophobia through school policy and pastoral care. Trust me – boys… Read more »
I’d quit your class.
Some people need to ‘man up’ and be able to take an insult especially if you are a guy.