An amazing woman shares her simple marriage secret after five years of happiness with her husband, ‘Amazing Grace.’
Five years ago I stood in the chapel of our church house in Goodlettsville, Tennessee. I was joined by our amazing Bishop, two Mormon missionaries as our witnesses, and my soon-to-be husband. My family had never met the man that I was staring at. I looked at him and never had a doubt, never had a second thought, never knew or imagined a love like ours would get bigger and better with time.
The ceremony lasted about eight minutes. After, it was donuts at Shipley’s and a Dr. Pepper with the missionaries.
No Bells. No whistles. No wedding. We didn’t have a wedding. What we have is a marriage.
Five years may not seem like a lot of time. I realize that. But considering my life, my past choices, our past experiences, five years is everything. In society in this day and time, any day of marriage is proof that the family unit is not dead, that we are fighting for each other and we have hope for the future.
I am married to the most awesome person.
There are many reasons that Grace is awesome. But there is one thing that makes this marriage, our life, our relationship better than any I have ever known.
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves ME.
I am not an easy person to love.
I have never known support, friendship, unconditional love, laughter, connection, passion, commitment, honesty, openness, communication, hard work, and more like I know with John. He offers everything and expects nothing.
We have heard from many people throughout our five years of marriage that we are unique. That we have something that is special and rare. I have to agree.
John and I in our lives apart have survived more than most people see in a lifetime. Apart we have struggled through heartache, financial disaster, marriage, divorce, violence, drugs, sex, alcohol, accidents, court, loss of a child, adoption placement, death, and more.
Since we have been together we have survived more than most people see in a lifetime. Heartache, breakdowns, financial disaster, accidents, the loss of a child, cancer, death, months of work away from home, past mistakes haunting our time together, court dates, jail time, and so much more. BUT there are a few things that are different fighting these things together than when we had to fight these things apart.
We are together.
We have the gospel in our life.
We have our amazing children.
We LOVE each other.
We believe in marriage.
We believe in eternal families.
We are fighters.
We are survivors.
We are BEST friends.
We are committed to each other.
We respect each other.
There is nothing more important than US. Nothing.
There is nothing easy about marriage … about the daily grind. But I can tell you it makes it a whole hell of a lot easier with someone by your side … there is no one that I would rather spend my time with. No one I would rather fight the daily battles with. No one I would rather have in the foxhole with me.
John received some advice about marriage once. “Marriage is like gardening … you’ve got to pull the weeds, if you don’t they’ll take over & that’s all you’ll see … they’ll choke out your flowers.”
If you focus on the weeds that is all that you will see. If you leave them in the ground they will destroy what you have worked to water, grow, and care for.
We work every single day. Does it come easier for us? Maybe. Maybe we have a natural groove with each other, a natural passion for each other that comes easier for us than some …
BUT we work at it every single day. Not because we have to, but because we want to. We work to keep it fresh, to keep the passion alive, to keep it safe for our kids, to keep it real for each other, to keep it meaningful and relevant.
It is the best use of my time. Working daily on my marriage is the very best use of my time every day.
I am so grateful to my husband. I am so grateful for the events that brought me to a place in my life where I was ready to receive such love and passion. I am so grateful that we were able to survive the challenges of our lives … that we were stronger because of them, stronger for each other.
Five years. Only five years. We have lived a lifetime apart and we WILL LIVE a lifetime together!
I am the lucky one. I know how rare it is to have a husband who beyond anything in this world, adores his wife. The feeling is mutual.
Happy Anniversary Grace. You are my life and I would NOT BE ME without YOU!
This post also appears on the Blessings In A Basket blog.
Photos courtesy of author