This is how a pedophile is made.
The Three Monkeys takes place in the 1940’s, a time when people did not discuss or mention anything pertaining to sex. Sexually abusive or otherwise neglectful treatment of a child, which by today’s laws would place the parent in prison, remained secreted away behind closed doors. People closed their eyes, covered their ears and shut their mouths while children suffered and bore abuses in silence. The following is entirely true.
Caution: This story describes child sexual abuse.
Readers wanting information on my book The Parent’s Guide to Protecting Children From Pedophiles – can find it at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004G09100
Your article has actually opened a window for me to have some empathy for perpetrators. I have always heard that there is no rehabilitation for people who molest children. I have heard that in prison they are the most hated. When I was a young woman doing my internship in counseling, a client came to me and he had molested little boys. That is the only client I have ever turned away. I asked my supervisor to please take him out of my caseload. This man continued to babysit a little boy and I just could not deal with the… Read more »
I can assure you that the man who had a history of molesting little boys had no business babysitting a little boy and rest assured, if the man was in any form of recovery, he would never have been in that situation. And good for you in turning him away if you did not wish to handle it or had little training. Prison is not a safe place for sex-offenders. Several men I know were violently stabbed, raped, and one man is dead – found in his cell hanging with his hands tied behind his back. Until recently, there was… Read more »
Opps, forgot to check this abuse is close to my heart and I may specialize in it for my MSW.
James, thanks for sharing this. I could write another book in responding to you! Let me say that it is very hard for people to accept that a woman is a predator and men are targeted in this area. According to the men I met in prison, and females since then, many suffered post-traumatic stress disorder the same as if they had been abused, by being forced to watch abuse, or watch porn (another way that a predator “grooms” a child). It has been diagnosed as secondary PTSD and has the same impact. When I attended graduate school for my… Read more »
You already have been a big help. Just hearing from someone that understands is helpful. I can hardly wait till August when the program starts at ETSU.
I wish I could say that the system is good and helpful today but its not true. The reason is that the system the Mental Health System can also create monsters. I know from personal experience. In previous posts I have talked about my ex-wife and her raping me and abusing me. What is really sad is that my son was a victim of the NC Social Services system. When we separated my son was seven. At the time I didn’t know that my ex-wife had been a victim of being heavily abused by her insane father. Shortly before we… Read more »
Thank you for writing this…this is so difficult a subject… My ex-abuser told me a long time ago when he was very young that an adult at summer camp had pulled down his shorts but he cried and got away….he later told someone in charge that someone (I think it was a cook) did “something bad” to him and that person was fired…. I also wondered if that was really the end of it…if there weren’t other incidents of sexual abuse that he couldn’t tell me about….was he also abused by his father? a priest? a teacher? By his behavior,… Read more »
Leia, Thank you for being so courageous to share. You well described how we all struggle and how we are so terribly wounded by abuse. As much as being victimized seems as an excuse to perpetrate, we are still responsible for our actions, and in moments of sanity we are aware of what we do. The urge at that point is so consuming and the inner anguish so unbearable, that we do not want to stop but we want to be stopped, if this makes any sense. We are at war withing ourselves and I think of Dr. Jekyll and… Read more »
In my case my memories were deeply buried and the cause of an anxiety-filled childhood, a night filled with horror, and all kinds of issues with trust. As I got older, I had major problems in elementary and high school and was delinquent. (I smoked and carried a switchblade at age ten). I had few friends and barely graduated. I was filled with shame and self-hate and did not know why I behaved as I did. Male victims seem to act-out their abuse while females tend to act-in. Boys molest and girls cut. Boys set fires and girls have eating… Read more »
I dunno. First of all, the fact he forgot it all till his 50s is very suspicious. Generally when we forget something it doesn’t effect us, its the stuff we remember that effects us. Secondly the father thing and the maid thing? Thirdly, more recent research suggests that there is not really much truth in the idea that abused people become abusers – unless they considered their abuse to be “good for them”. A man who was beat and thinks it made him a man might beat someone, if he thinks it was an ordeal he won’t. A person who… Read more »
This is a true account of my life, and is only a chapter from the entire book, which goes into more detail of what triggered me. During my incarceration I met hundreds of men who suffered similar trauma, and acted out sexually aggressive. Disbelief is often met by children who tell and even adults who share. It is very hard to face. The importance of this is to help protect children by knowing what to look for. Know the signs and understand the behavior. If you are interested in the psychological findings on this, there is a library full of… Read more »
I was under the impression the notion of repressed memories was largely debunked nowadays?
yeah, somehow most of the child sex abuse stories on this site seem like an excuse, unfortunately. They lost me at the end when it said he was convicted
Then, you totally missed the working toward healing.
Yes, it is ugly and must be exposed so that children can be protected. There are tell-tale signs, often ignored, because it is too painful to think the one you love or trust is abusing your child.
Thank you for sharing. Its ugly, but how can such a topic not be? As parents we need to know .