Whatever you think about the most…is your Higher Power.
Why?
Because that person, place, or thing has so much power over you.
Sometimes it’s my wife. We have a disagreement, like most married couples, and I spend the next few hours obsessing over how I can win the argument.
First, no man has ever won an argument with his wife. If you win the argument, you lose; if you tie, you lose; if you lose, you lose. So why bother?
In this case, she has become my Higher Power.
How do I know?
Because she’s what I’m thinking about the most.
Or maybe it’s money.
Or work.
Or sex.
If you’re thinking about sex during work, then sex is your Higher Power.
If you’re thinking about work during sex, then you’re a knucklehead.
Or, in my case, maybe fear is my Higher Power, because I seem to devote so much energy and time to being fearful.
I didn’t say any of this makes sense. I just said this is the way it is.
So what about you? What do you think about the most?
If you are anything like me, what you think about the most is…wait for it…you!
In fact, I spend far more time thinking about myself than I do about my wife, my kids, the money, or probably all other subjects combined.
As the expression goes, I may not be much, but I’m all I think about.
Specifically, I think about how I look.
How much I weigh.
How much money I have.
How much money I don’t have.
And on and on. As the expression goes, the song of “I, I, I,” sung to the tune of “me, me, me.”
If that’s the case, then maybe I am my own Higher Power.
And in that case, good luck to me, because people who sponsor themselves typically don’t do very well in 12 Step recovery.
What’s your Higher Power?
What do you think about the most?
What were you thinking about just before you started reading this article?
What were you thinking about when you woke up this morning?
What was the last thing you were thinking about before you went to sleep last night?
Once you are able to answer that question, you can shake hands with your Higher Power.
Because at last, you have identified exactly what it is.
The good news is that when you are in recovery, you get to choose a Higher Power that isn’t your spouse, your financial status, or you, yourself, and you.
The challenge of the program isn’t so much surrendering to your Higher Power.
I didn’t say that was easy.
But it’s doable.
The great challenge in recovery? Staying surrendered.
And not replacing your true Higher Power with whatever you obsess about the most.
So as you go through your day today, monitor your thoughts.
As much as possible, see your Higher Power in the eyes of other people, a child’s smile, the natural beauty of the world around us, the miraculousness of human consciousness, or wherever you can find it.
Because I’ve got to tell you—when I am my own Higher Power, I’m in trouble.
Or the use the AA cliché, when I’m all wrapped up in myself, I make a really small package.
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Photo: Getty Images
