Anthony Springer would have to abandon the sexual assault survivors he knows to defend Bill Cosby—and that’s something he’ll never do.
Like most 80’s babies, I grew up with the weekly genius that was “The Cosby Show.” While the majority of the world saw the Huxtable clan as America’s family, as a young black boy, the Huxtable’s were a black family first. It was a radical departure from the black and working class tropes played up on other hit shows like “Good Times,” “What’s Happening,” and “Sanford and Son.”
For many of my contemporaries, Cosby not only ushered in the utopian vision of the black family, but lit the path to get to Huxtable status via “A Different World.” Even a cursory survey of black college graduates will reveal an implicit or explicit influence on educational aspirations. “A Different World” either made us want to go to college, got the college-ready more interested in college, or caused us to take a closer look at the nation’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities through the eyes of the fictitious Hillman portrayed on the show.
In the eyes of America—black America particularly—Bill Cosby could do no wrong.
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During a stand up performance in November, comedian Hannibal Burress ripped off the fabric covering the Band-Aid and the Band-Aid covering the scab that threatened to derail Cosby’s squeaky clean legacy ten years ago.
“Bill Cosby has the fuckin’ smuggest old black man public persona that I hate,” Buress said. “He gets on TV, ‘Pull your pants up black people, I was on TV in the 80s! I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom!’ Yeah, but you rape women, Bill Cosby, so turn the crazy down a couple notches.”
And just like that, Cosby’s house of cards began to crumble. There was the cancelled TV pilot that would’ve seen Cosby return to the small screen to delight a new generation of viewers and reintroduce old fans to his comedic genius. There were also cancelled concert dates.
The accusations? Sickening. Cosby stands accused of drugging and assaulting more than a dozen women going back decades. Social media has been ablaze with Cosby defenders, who discredit the defenders with enough zeal to make one think they are paid members of the Cosby legal or crisis communications team.
I am not among them.
I cannot defend Bill Cosby; I will not defend Bill Cosby.
As one who has conducted workshops on the realities of domestic violence for young men and boys, my spider senses tingle at stories about sexual assault—in the media and in my personal life. The Average Joe I know accused of the things Cosby is accused of would no longer be welcome in my home if he wasn’t able to muster—at a bare minimum—a murmuring of innocence. That Cosby, a man who hit the lecture circuit to excoriate Black America on the virtues of personal responsibility, is unable to do that makes me think there’s fire beneath the smoke of these accusations.
More importantly, defending Bill Cosby requires me to betray everything I know about domestic violence and sexual assault.
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It’s safe to assume that the vast majority of men know at least one victim. The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network estimates that one in six women will be a victim during the course of their lifetime. That number jumps to nearly one in four for black women.
I’d like to think everyone in my company is one of the five, or among the three for black women. I’d like to delude myself into thinking that only people accused and convicted of violating a woman’s most sacred space are the ones who did it. And if I were ignorant and arrogant enough to shout victims into silence when this topic comes up—by asking what “she” did to deserve it, by wondering if “she” really wanted it—I’d be successful at this utopian fantasy.
As an introverted man, I listen twice as much as I speak. I’ve heard the stories from my earliest years of college through the present. One by one, friends and ex-girlfriends reveal their secrets: that they too, have been on the receiving end of a sexual assault. A few by men they didn’t know. The majority by men they did. Their stories are recounted with a remarkable amount of detail.
While sexual assault is an act of barbarism, the stories I’ve been told are largely absent the brutish nature we’d like to ascribe to the perfect victim. The victim that actively resists, the victim that fights, the victim who is savagely beaten or held at gun or knife-point. Most just want to make it out with as little physical damage as possible; opting to deal with the mental scars at a later date.
The number of victims I know is too many to count. The number who have filed a report: one. The number who took it to court: zero.
When I read the stories of Cosby’s accusers, I’m taken back to those instant message and in-person conversations with the women I know. Those who, despite all rational thought to the contrary, blame themselves and wonder what they could’ve done differently.
When I read Beverly Johnson’s account, I was reminded of domestic violence training and how reluctant women are to get “good” black men mixed up in a criminal justice system that is not often kind to us to begin with:
“Still I struggled with how to reveal my big secret, and more importantly, what would people think when and if I did? Would they dismiss me as an angry black woman intent on ruining the image of one of the most revered men in the African American community over the last 40 years? Or would they see my open and honest account of being betrayed by one of the country’s most powerful, influential, and beloved entertainers?”
Due to the statute of limitations, Cosby will never face these allegations in a court of law. This provides an all too convenient cover for those who wish to dismiss the claims of these women as a vast media conspiracy to bring down a black man who hasn’t been at the height of pop culture since the 90s.
The court of public opinion has no such statute of limitations and the Cosby legacy—rightly or wrongly—will be tried much like he rose to fame: in front of an audience.
For the men quick to vocally dismiss Cosby’s accusers for not being the perfect victims, I can only suggest a more compassionate stance.
If you listen closely and talk slowly, you’ll find Beverly Johnson’s and Barbara Bowman’s in your circle.
Listen to them.
More importantly, believe them.
Photo: Surian Soosay/Flickr
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https://plus.google.com/103041359322144339544/posts/e5vBecfNDJw We don’t live in a perfect world. It matters not whether we are for or against Cosby. Every opinion is important. Silence is our enemy. That being said, to those of us who struggle with Cosby’s guilt, you must come to grips with accepting the fact that the rolls Cosby played as an actor and the life he lived as a serial rapist are as painful and clear as the “Jekyll and Hyde” scenario. You must do so for your own family’s sake, for so many rape victims and for societies everywhere. Please do not forsake so many defending… Read more »
I admit, I believe the women. Most aren’t seeking any money whatsoever. No logical incentive since the majority get tried and trashed in social media and message boards. Impossible to know for sure. The whole thing is sad.
Thank you mostly 123 and janette for continuing the only point I have been trying to get across, and you both added splendidly. Look at the McCarthy trials, Salem, pick one, it’s all mob mentality. I’ve never said OK he time that I blame the victim. Not once have I claimed that they are all liars. Not once did I say Cosby wasn’t a rapist. Yet many of you say smoke leads to fire, too many so something must have happened, if he’s innocent he’d say something, etc etc. You are all so quick to judge an shun him, along… Read more »
The vast majority of women cannot sue Cosby-the statute of limiations has passed. We live in a rape culture. 60 percent of rapes are never reported. Only 2 to 8 percent are false. 5 of his accusers have publically said they will not take a drop of his money. The myth that ‘women lie about sexual assault’ is apparently alive and well in this sick society. Many of the women have pictures or cooberating information showing that they had contact with Cosby. One was in one of his projects. As one survivor said “Who wants to be famous for having… Read more »
The prince of England now is facing the same accustions. Is there something going on? I do not know for myself if the Coz is guilty or not, but I do know that like any American, rich or poor, black or white, he has a right to be innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. If we take away anyone’s rights by trying him in the court of public opinion and ruining his reputation, it could happen to any of us. Accusations, true or false, can cost us our jobs, our friends, our reputation. Anyone who works with… Read more »
These women are not innocent the majority were in a married man’s hotel room seeking to gain something from him. Cosby was not innocent ether he was looking to use the women that were after him. We should use our time to help real victims.
“Why I Can’t Defend Bill Cosby” Because I think he’s guilty maybe not of all, but of some There have been many false rape cases as noted by other commenter. The thing that sets this apart from the Tawana brawley and Duke case is that even though multiple men were falsely accused, you still just had one accuser. In this case we have too many accusers to reasonably say that none were raped. Witness testimony is evidence too. That doesn’t mean that all were raped and that’s why he can’t be prosecuted and probably shouldn’t be. We can’t say 26… Read more »
That’s not really how that works. He has a ton of money, is hugely famous and has had a long career. The Duke players did come from rich families, but they were and are young and not as well known apart from that. I’m not really sure how people can just assume that because a lot of people filed complaints that it’s somehow more valid than if one person did. He has a ton of money, he’s well known and he had a squeaky clean reputation professionally. In other words, he’s a huge target for fraudsters and extortion. It might… Read more »
@ Frank And yet he’s not the only rich guy who’s had sex with multiple women. Maybe a guy gets accused once like Kobe Bryant or twice like Ben Roethlisberger. 26 times is a bit out their unless you’re thinking his money is somehow more appealing than theirs or they view him as an easier target or maybe he just demolished Wilt Chamberlain’s record and it’s just volume. The proportion of rape complaints to sexual encounters is the same. He’s just had a whole lot more sex. I wouldn’t call for his prosecution, but I’m not going to give grief… Read more »
The way I see it, the dynamics at play are something like this: It’s not really question of whether or not what he (Cosby) is being accused of is a serious crime that should be excused, justified or defended -unequivocally, sexual assault is a violation of fundamental moral & civil law and decency- I would say most everyone agrees unanimously and unreservedly that the crimes being alleged are inexcusable and abhorrent; that sexual assault is grievous and repugnant crime- no one debates that. And no one debates that those who are guilty such crimes should be as grievously & thoroughly… Read more »
Maybe Bill Cosby isn’t speaking about it because there were settlements reached in some cases? Usually an acceptance of a settlement requires non-disclosure but then again, I don’t have any details on these incidents nor was I involved. I hope it isn’t true but then why would so many women come forward with these charges? Disturbing.
He’s not speaking primarily because he’s already being sued for denying one of the sexual assaults took place. And in that case, it was his attorney speaking on his behalf. Seems to me like she’s more interested in money than the truth as she would have had her day in court if she hadn’t accepted a settlement offer. To file a new suit because he’s denying that it happened is just plain greedy.
Here’s the thing…folks caping for a man who’s not caping for himself. Not once has he said he’s innocent. What he has done is chatised the black media for not taking up for him. How do you defend someone who hasn’t defended himself. There will be no batgirl to his batman ego. I support this article.
Why should he? His representatives have already stated that, I don’t see how him making the comments is any more credible than his attorney making the comments.
All commenting on the matter does is give them legitimacy. Until and unless there’s a lawsuit or trial, there’s no good reason for him to answer the innuendos.
Uh huh. Smoke where tawana brawley was. Same smoke where the duke lacrosse players were. Same smoke just about everywhere accusations are made with no objective evidence. And the race card is what you tossed in defense. My point is solely accusations that w/o evidence are acted upon by a media jury. In fact all this is about the black perspective in this article. Aj is using race to counter that of sexual violence. Black guy doesn’t believe the other black guy because the accusations are against a more just victim. I didn’t really think about race until now. I’m… Read more »
The Tawana Brawley and Duke cases were quickly disproved. The Cosby case just keeps growing and growing. More like a snowball than a puff of smoke, I’d say.
She also made the accusations within weeks of the alleged incident and there was DNA to test that finally put the matter to rest. Sometimes things are clear cut, but usually they aren’t. There will be no DNA tests that settle the matter as clearly as they did in the Duke Case. And you’re forgetting the fact that those players had their lives ruined by those false accusations. They’ve sprung back a bit since then, but the media doesn’t cover retractions with the same zeal that they cover the original slanderous remarks. There might be a couple articles written if… Read more »
The brawley and duke cases were hardly disproved quickly. I feel that is a deflection of the point. Since there have been no charges in this case, what investigation has really been done?? It matters little re: statutes of limitations when someone’s life and reputation can so easily be besmirched. And I think Emily below made a horrible point in the name of feminist PC speech. It’s all one way and politicized as mostly 123 said.
First, this is one Man’s opinion, as AJ plainly stated, and he also noted while there will be no “jury of his peers” judging Mr. Crosby, there are the words of women, some “better” victims than others(which nauseates me), yet one thing that my Grandmother always told me to keep in the back of my mind and that is, where there’s smoke, there is fire. There is a fire here, it is just a matter of whether one chooses to see it. To pull the race card out when it was white men wrongly accusing black men of “messing with… Read more »
As one who has conducted workshops on the realities of domestic violence for young men and boys, my spider senses tingle at stories about sexual assault—in the media and in my personal life. The Average Joe I know accused of the things Cosby is accused of would no longer be welcome in my home if he wasn’t able to muster—at a bare minimum—a murmuring of innocence. That Cosby, a man who hit the lecture circuit to excoriate Black America on the virtues of personal responsibility, is unable to do that makes me think there’s fire beneath the smoke of these… Read more »
It would be worse than that, he’s already facing on anti-defamation suit for denying the charges. She claims that his denial is an accusation that she lied about it. IIRC, she’s already settled the previous lawsuit. It’s certainly within the realm of possibility that he’s guilty, but the people that seem to think he’s been convicted or even charged need to shut up as they’re setting survivor rights way back by doing it. Rich people do get accused of things like this, sometimes it’s valid and sometimes it’s because they have a lot of money and are more likely to… Read more »
The problem though is you’ve just judged him guilty without a scintilla of evidence, rumors and accusations that will kill a man’s character whether true or not. And you have no evidence. You don’t have to cast aside those you know who’ve suffered sexual violence. Cosby didn’t do that to them so it’s two different scenarios. Remember when black males were accused of messing with white women? Remember the outcome? Not good and most of it was false too, as you’re doing here. I understand your intent but it is majestically misplaced. If he did do this then there’ll be… Read more »